Meeting People and
Conversational Skills
Index
Information
Advice
Internet Links
Books & Media
CSULB Referrals
Other
INFORMATION
Many people think that a person
who is confident in social settings, meets people easily, and is a good
conversationalist must be born that way. Yet if you analyze what they do
carefully enough, you will find that interacting with people effectively
consists of many interpersonal skills that can be learned like learning to type
or ride a bike,
In addition people develop
confidence because they have experienced success in the past (because of skills,
etc.) and because they have learned how to have a more positive attitude in
interpersonal situations.
These skills and confidence
levels can vary a great deal from one situation to another. For example
one person may feel very comfortable talking to strangers, but uncomfortable in
situations calling for high intimacy or conflict resolution or
vice-versa.
ADVICE
Assess your own strengths and weaknesses. In what types of situations do
you feel confident and think you have good interpersonal skills? What
types of situations do you need to learn more about? You can also use the SHAQ
questionnaire to help you with this process (Click
here). Pay special attention to the individual relationship questions.
Explore the boxed links at the top for
more specific help and look at the additional links below.
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INTERNET
LINKS
Meeting
People Skills and Issues
CSULB=>Skills for Meeting
People, Dating, and Developing Intimacy
Guidelines for each stage of developing intimacy (friendship and dating) from
the first contact to a long-term relationship. Useful tips on many
difficult situations from approaches, introductions, and invitations; to
initiating and maintaining conversations, communicating about feelings,
initiating physical intimacy, and much more. How to deal with problem situations
such as disagreements, unbalanced and surface-only conversations, and much more.
http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/conversational_skills.htm
CSULB=> Beyond Fear of Rejection and Loneliness to Self-Confidence
Guide for overcoming fears of rejection and loneliness, also focuses upon finding people who are right for you in a relationship. Dr. Tom Stevens
http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/c-rejct.htm
CSULB=> Choose To Be Happy In Relationships
A set of general guidelines connected to other links for specific step-by-step help for improving relationships of all types--especially close or romantic ones. Dr. Tom Stevens
http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/chaprels.htm
For much more information and
links go to more specific topics below:
Go to Finding Mr/Mrs Right (includes
Dating Skills and Internet dating service listings)
Go to help page on Developing Intimacy
and Romance
Go to Sexual Health and Violence (includes
information on sexual health and dating violence/rape issues)
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Developing
Assertiveness--Overcoming Fears of What
Others Think
Go to our help section on developing
more Internal Control.
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BOOKS
& MEDIA
GO TO: book_sites.htm
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CSULB
REFERRALS
CSULB
Student Services
Counseling and
Psychological Services (CAPS)
CSULB students can obtain free counseling from licensed psychologists for almost
any type of personal problem including relationships and family problems;
stress, anxiety, depression, anger, grief; academic-related concerns; career
decision-making; crises; and almost any type of self-development issue. We
offer individual and group counseling, workshops, and self-help materials
including this web site. Brotman Hall, Room 226; 562-985-4001; web site: www.csulb.edu/~caps
The Luster E. and Audrey Nichol Hauth Center for Communication Skills
We CAN make a difference in communication skills training for ALL CSULB students, interested faculty and members of the
larger social and business community in Southern California. Here at the Hauth Center you will have the opportunity to enhance your own personal communication skills in a variety of
contexts. We can provide you with individualized assistance to become an effective public speaker, conversationalist, or group
leader. Communication professionals use their expertise and multimedia technology to provide you with rehearsal, coaching, and
consultation. LAB 200; Sponsored by the Department of Communication Studies,
CSULB.
http://www.csulb.edu/web/centers/hauth/
Other student services and
student organizations may also be helpful
Go to CSULB student information page for a comprehensive list of student services and activities
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Relevant
CSULB Courses
Courses in the Speech Communication department
related to interpersonal communication, public speaking, etc. may be helpful.
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CSULB
Student Activities
Find student activities and department clubs
that meet some of your interests and join them. To meet people and become
accepted you must come regularly, and it is helpful to volunteer to help and get
involved in behind the scenes activities as well. Try initiating
conversations with others and showing interest in them. Don't wait for others to
approach you. If you are quiet, try to find other members who are also
quiet and try to help them feel more comfortable and wanted.
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