Meeting People
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Meeting People and Conversational Skills

Index

Information
Advice

Internet Links

Books & Media

CSULB Referrals

Other

INFORMATION
Many people think that a person who is confident in social settings, meets people easily, and is a good conversationalist must be born that way.  Yet if you analyze what they do carefully enough, you will find that interacting with people effectively consists of many interpersonal skills that can be learned like learning to type or ride a bike,

In addition people develop confidence because they have experienced success in the past (because of skills, etc.) and because they have learned how to have a more positive attitude in interpersonal situations.

These skills and confidence levels can vary a great deal from one situation to another.  For example one person may feel very comfortable talking to strangers, but uncomfortable in situations calling for high intimacy or conflict resolution or vice-versa.  

ADVICE
Assess your own strengths and weaknesses.  In what types of situations do you feel confident and think you have good interpersonal skills?  What types of situations do you need to learn more about? You can also use the SHAQ questionnaire to help you with this process (Click here). Pay special attention to the individual relationship questions.

Explore the boxed links at the top for more specific help and look at the additional links below.

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INTERNET LINKS 

Meeting People
Skills and Issues

CSULB=>Skills for Meeting People, Dating, and Developing Intimacy
Guidelines for each stage of developing intimacy (friendship and dating) from the first contact to a long-term relationship.  Useful tips on many difficult situations from approaches, introductions, and invitations; to initiating and maintaining conversations, communicating about feelings, initiating physical intimacy, and much more. How to deal with problem situations such as disagreements, unbalanced and surface-only conversations, and much more.

http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/conversational_skills.htm

CSULB=> Beyond Fear of Rejection and Loneliness to Self-Confidence
Guide for overcoming fears of rejection and loneliness, also focuses upon finding people who are right for you in a relationship. Dr. Tom Stevens
http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/c-rejct.htm


CSULB=> Choose To Be Happy In Relationships
A set of general guidelines connected to other links for specific step-by-step help for improving relationships of all types--especially close or romantic ones. Dr. Tom Stevens
http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/chaprels.htm

 

For much more information and links go to more specific topics below:

Go to Finding Mr/Mrs Right (includes Dating Skills and Internet dating service listings)

Go to help page on Developing Intimacy and Romance

Go to Sexual Health and Violence (includes information on sexual health and dating violence/rape issues)

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Developing Assertiveness--Overcoming Fears of What Others Think

Go to our help section on developing more Internal Control.

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BOOKS & MEDIA 

GO TO: book_sites.htm

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CSULB REFERRALS

CSULB Student Services

Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS)
CSULB students can obtain free counseling from licensed psychologists for almost any type of personal problem including relationships and family problems; stress, anxiety, depression, anger, grief; academic-related concerns; career decision-making; crises; and almost any type of self-development issue.  We offer individual and group counseling, workshops, and self-help materials including this web site. Brotman Hall, Room 226; 562-985-4001; web site: www.csulb.edu/~caps

The Luster E. and Audrey Nichol Hauth Center for Communication Skills 
We CAN make a difference in communication skills training for ALL CSULB students, interested faculty and members of the larger social and business community in Southern California.  Here at the Hauth Center you will have the opportunity to enhance your own personal communication skills in a variety of contexts. We can provide you with individualized assistance to become an effective public speaker, conversationalist, or group leader. Communication professionals use their expertise and multimedia technology to provide you with rehearsal, coaching, and consultation.  LAB 200; Sponsored by the Department of Communication Studies, CSULB.
http://www.csulb.edu/web/centers/hauth/

Other student services and student organizations may also be helpful
Go to CSULB student information page for a comprehensive list of student services and activities

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Relevant CSULB Courses

Courses in the Speech Communication department related to interpersonal communication, public speaking, etc. may be helpful.

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CSULB Student Activities

Find student activities and department clubs that meet some of your interests and join them.  To meet people and become accepted you must come regularly, and it is helpful to volunteer to help and get involved in behind the scenes activities as well.  Try initiating conversations with others and showing interest in them. Don't wait for others to approach you.  If you are quiet, try to find other members who are also quiet and try to help them feel more comfortable and wanted.

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Please bookmark this web site and tell others

Success and Happiness Home Page  
Success and Happiness Attributes Questionnaire (SHAQ) to assess self on many factors 
    
Self-Help Internet Links (List only sites with useful FREE information)

Free, full-length self-help manuals. Psychologist Dr.Tom Stevens' Web Site at www.csulb.edu/~tstevens
Free, chapters from Dr. Stevens book, You Can Choose To Be Happy   
Index of FREE SELF-HELP materials available on Dr. Stevens' web site  
  
Email feedback to Dr. Tom Stevens at tstevens@csulb.edu (We appreciate the feedback.)

California State University, Long Beach (CSULB)           
CSULB Division of Student Services

Copyright 2006, Tom G. Stevens PhD          URL of this web site is www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/success