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Care And Support
The Care Support program has the task of going out and doing home care for those who are not well enough to leave their homes. When asked about how often they see death in a month, the woman laughed, and responded with ‘a week’. In just the previous week there had been 3 deaths. In a community where there is an HIV/AID’s infection rate of 1/3, death and illness is an imminent force that surrounds us. Death may not be directly visible but it is surrounding us. I wonder how many of the items that were donated were from children that are no longer here. -Tammy
When I was in the clinic I took a look at the posters on the wall and saw a specific poster on tapeworms. The poster described the proper way of cleaning and cooking meat so that one would not get a tapeworm. This I found interesting because in the United States this would not be a common poster in a hospital because most people do not have to worry about getting a tapeworm from the meat they cook. Most South Africans in townships cook their own meat and have to cook it that day because they do have not refrigerators. -Geneva
On the way back we passed under a bridge where there were posters for “safe, painless” abortions. Most of the tabs that you can take off were gone. -Geneva
What I want to remember most from this day is everything I saw in the clinics while in Khayelitsha. I never want to forget the masses of people waiting to see a doctor and how so many people looked so ill. I knew in my mind that according to statistics there had to be 20% infected with HIV and 50% had to have TB… I never want to forget how fortunate I am, and that I can make a difference out here. -Geneva
______ was HIV positive and looked very frail and tired. He told us that he was diagnosed with HIV in 2002 and was infected by his girlfriend who he had a child with. He began the ARV treatment in 2005 and since then he has been getting worse. ______ had very dry skin and sores all over his calves and feet… We later found out that his mother takes care of him but she only has the money from her pension to live off and take care of her sons and her grandchildren… What I found upsetting was that ______ mentioned that the neighbors do come and visit, but only once and a while; he thinks that they are ashamed of him because he is HIV positive. What was then even more upsetting is that he thought we were afraid of him because we were standing on the other side of the room. I moved over closer to him and assured him that I was not afraid of him. -Geneva
We also got to ask his mother a few questions and I found everything she said to be extremely interesting. When Arlene asked her how she was doing, she answered that she has nothing so she is fine. She was referring to HIV, and what I found interesting is that she could not answer that question without stating the fact that she was HIV free. The mother was then able to talk to us a little more and she told a story in Xhosa about ______’s older brother who died from HIV/AIDS in 2002. She said that her older son got HIV and ended up dying in her arms… I felt such deep sadness for _______ and his family. I felt sadness for him, having to endure so much pain and agony over the disease, for his mother to have to lose a son and most likely lose another one, and for Nolundi who was crying when she heard the story. She must hear stories like this all the time and it must be hard to take it all in. Nolundi mentioned that all of this sadness is hard for her and she goes home sad and stressed and it ruins her family life. This day was by far the most influential and important day that I have experienced here in South Africa. -Geneva
When we were on our way over to her house Arlene was asking Nolundi questions about the patient. The patient was a 70-year-old woman and she was HIV positive. Nolundi told Arlene that she was HIV positive by forming her two fingers into a cross in order to be discreet. This shows how there is still a stigma with HIV/AIDS in South Africa. She did not want other people to hear her say that she had HIV/AIDS even though they probably had no clue who she was talking about. -Geneva
For a while when he was talking, we kind of stayed on the other side of the room, which gave him the impression that we were afraid of him, and my heart sunk into my toes when Nolundi told us that was how he was feeling with us standing so far away. I know my intentions and the others in my group were never to make ANYONE feel uncomfortable, but he was so frail and it was quite a few of us, and I did not want it to feel as though we were crowding his personal space, because we were not even supposed to be there in the first place. Unlike the U.S. where everyone values and worships their “personal space”, here in South Africa, it is looked upon as a sign of being afraid or even disrespectful. Immediately I moved forward and I know he had to see the compassion in my face, because he immediately smiled as well. -Danielle
I can honestly say that in this one visit and experience in the Care and Support group, I have learned so much about everyday life with families who have a member suffering from AIDS. This what I needed to experience and see for myself, because you always see bits and pieces of this on television, but this is the first time I was able to experience this for myself, and see what the patient is like who is on the verge of dying any day now. I have and will always have a soft spot in my heart from this day and this is something I will never forget and cherish forever, because it meant so much to me that something as small as rubbing Vaseline on his legs and feet and showing him that he is not feared by everyone, but rather that we are the honored ones to have met him in his last days. -Danielle
Men As Partners
Today was a day that I am proud to say I was apart of. Being in the Shebeen with all those men was enlightening and moving. Hearing them be told their rights and discuss political issues made me want to know more. They were all very passionate about their community and desperately want the government’s help to end the violence with the foreigners. -Alison
Pati began the conversation with the men and presented the group much like a support group in the US; no formal agenda, just a forum to discuss issues and create positive solutions. I strongly believe that he is the perfect man for this job. Pati has a booming voice and such a passion when he speaks that you automatically feel this need to attend to everything he says. One man came forward with an issue that he is currently struggling with and the man suddenly reminded me of any father from home. He complained that his children consistently disobey him and he doesn’t know how to handle the situation and be a good parent. This brought the situation to life for me. My misconceptions of these men began to fade a little when I saw this father speak of his concern for his children. -Tammy
It was very interesting to me to see that this main issue was an issue we have back in the State as well. Every parent, I think, has problems with controlling their children. Even thought I realize that this is a more extreme case, but many day to day problems can cross cultures and continents…. It was reassuring to me that we are not as different to these people as we may think. We are all human and we all live in the same world. -Nicky
They talked a lot about the issues that had come up in the last month or so with the immigrants from Zimbabwe coming in and the violence that followed. It was interesting to hear these people talk about things that we hear everyday in the news, and we as a group hear about days before we left for this trip. Many of the men agreed that they were targets of violence and blame for no good reason. It was good to see that they identified their faults with the situation and hopefully this means that they want to willingly fix it. One man even said that a Zimbabwean moved in next door to him and had become him friend. These people are just trying to integrate into the community. -Nicky
At this meeting, the men in the township gathered together to discuss things going on in the community. They were speaking in Xhosa, so we had to have translators. They welcomed us into their territory and showed us a really unique insight into life in the township. Topics they discussed ranged from corrupted police to violence by and on the refugees from mostly Zimbabwe. As many of the issues involved personal accounts of their experiences with corruption or violence, I felt the opportunity to witness firsthand such authenticity of life and society was a very special thing for all of us visitors. -Eric
I was very impressed with the acceptance we received by the men in the group. I again giggle at the sight of a group of mostly white Americans walking into a shebeen and taking a seat as if we have come to take part in the meeting. Not to mention a 95% of us are female and this group is a men’s group. However, we were accepted with open arms once again and no one asked questions. From what it looked like, Patty gave a good introduction and it clearly did not keep any of the men from talking about what they needed to discuss. I am so happy that they are given this outlet to talk about issues they deal with everyday. -Nicky
The men from MAP’s really pin pointed the solution to the injustice, violence, and abuse through self efficacy. If one has the empowerment within themselves to understand what is right and wrong, then they can lead the way to a better tomorrow. -Courtney
The shebeen was a tin box; it almost looked like a garage. There was a sign on the wall that had a list of alcohol they served. There were benches and tables on one side and a pool table on the other. We were in one of the nicer ones because the roof did not leak. However we were there during a rainstorm and what music did the raindrops make upon the tin roof.
-Sara F.
Orphans and Vulnerable Children
We drove deeper into the township, to the site where they hold the Kids Club everyday. I was waiting to come upon a building, but it was only a little shipping storage container next to the trash dump…
Then, right around 3pm, children from the surrounding area started to show up to our little container. They were excited and curious to see all the foreigners there and were excited to see that we had brought paper, pencils, markers, and stickers with us. As we started to pass it all out they all sat very patiently waiting to find out what they were supposed to do with these new things. I was shocked and amazed at how timid and polite these children were. They ranged from 3-15year old and all sat along the walls of the container. Finally we got the point across that these gifts were for them and they could do anything they wished with them, and then we saw their child-like tendencies come out as they began to color and draw. I found my niche with a couple of boys who were loud, outgoing, and funny. Boys were the majority in the group of children, due to the fact that the girls were likely be home taking care of any younger siblings. It was sad to know that many times these children have to take on adult roles in the household, and even though these programs are set up to alleviate those responsibilities, many of them still cannot partake in them.
As the afternoon wore on, and we finished taking pictures of all the children, we realized that we couldn’t hold all the children that were coming to the Kids Club in the tiny shipping container, so we decided to move to a near by church. Zwai gathered all the children and all of us volunteers had to go back onto the bus to get over there; because of the danger in the area, it would not be safe for us to walk. When we got there, we saw that their church was four cement walls and a tin roof, but much bigger. A few minutes after we got there, faintly in the distance, we could hear the children coming around the corner, with Zwai, singing songs in Xhosa. It was beautiful and immediately lifted the spirit of the program.
My little group of friends all sat together and summoned me over. They quickly learned to say my name and I attempted to pronounce theirs. They laughed at me as I stumbled over the sounds and clicks in their names. None of the children spoke perfect English, and I by no means speak Xhosa, so we had a lot of translating and hand gestures passed between each other to find out what we were trying to say to each other. At one point, one of the boys saw the tattoo I have on my wrist, and asked me if I had been to prison. Tattoos here in South Africa clearly have a stigma, and even though I giggled and told him no, I don’t think he truly believed me, and asked me again three or four times. They also found a great interest in my piercings and other tattoos, which is not part of their culture.
…We were still having fun and playing, but it was a slap back into reality when a little girl, no more then twelve years old, came in with a baby strapped to her back. She sat on the floor, put the baby on her hip, and started to color. It was such a collision in personalities for her; she was a step-in-mother and a child, all at the same time.
By the end of the afternoon, the little boys and girls called me “My friend Nicky”. It was so touching and warmed my heart every time they said it. It was nice to live in this moment of bliss, and I tried not to let my mind wander to the time when we would leave and these children would stay. -Nicky
The kids started lining up and when we started taking pictures it seemed that some of them had never seen or handled a camera before. They handled it like a fragile glass; it was humbling. -Kellie
After we went ahead and laid out all the supplies on a large table and had the children grab whatever they needed to decorate pictures of themselves. This was a great event to attend where the children were enjoying themselves decorating and drawing. I sat with two children helping them glue their pictures onto construction paper. I did not talk to them very much since they were concentrating on their artwork. It was great to see how happy they were and how much they appreciated everything they received that day. -Monica
We got the opportunity to give the children their copies of their portraits, and they seemed to love them. We set up a few artsy things for them to do, and it was a pure joy to sit down with them once again and just appreciate their excitement. They again received food. This time, however, there were bags of donated clothes for them each to receive one article of clothing; we also brought along some of the pens we collected. I happened to be standing at Zwai’s side when the pens were brought out. I was so moved by his reaction. To me, or anyone back home, a pen is a pen – certainly nothing to get excited about. But Zwai looked like he was about to cry, ran and grabbed Gabriel to show him the pens, and exclaimed over and over again “what beautiful pens!” For me, it just offered one of those constant little reminders we get over here to appreciate. -Kate
The looks on the faces of the children were priceless. I was glad to see all of these children using the art supplies and creating projects and decorating their pictures. I was happy to do the OVC program today, but at the same time it was hard to watch these kids stand in line for food and for clothing. I was just wondering in my head when was the next time they were going to eat? -Geneva
Also when they were passing out the snacks, one of the young boys was telling me about how he could only eat the apple because he has to give the yogurt to his brother to eat later. It really made me realize that this apple might possibly be the only thing that he had to eat that entire day… It’s hard because they don’t complain; they just accept it because that is how they are used to living. -Caitlin
Overall, this was the day I had waiting for and looking forward to. It made the trip have so much more meaning to it, and it really hit home. Seeing the children and where they are living really made me want to do something to help, so I know someday I’ll come back. -Jody
Prevention
One of the programs is called CATS which helps kids educate kids. They teach each other how to be safe and help prevent the transmission of HIV/AIDS. They usually voice out through song and dance, sometimes they put together skits in order to get the message across. As we wanted to get involved we went to a school and met a group of kids who were going to be performing on Youth Day.
We all piled into one of HOPE’s boxy silver vans and off we went. Ricardo drove us through the community. The school building was very bare and made of concrete. The desks were wooden and looked old. There were bars on the window. Outside was just a field where several boys were kicking around a rugby ball. The school itself had a huge metal fence and gate that you drove through to access the school. This place was very desolate. However the children brought the place alive.
When we first arrived the kids were practicing their routines for Youth Day. They were dancing and singing. A couple of the boys performed a gum boot dance. They wear these big rubber boots that came up to their knees, while bent over they slap their hands on their boots and legs and clap and singing in a rhythm.
After they finished practicing we talked to the kids and learned of how the school system was set up. In order for them to go to school they have to have a uniform. Some of the kids there had cell phones and were playing music on them. They were dancing and laughing, trying to get us to dance with them. They didn’t want to see us go and the feeling was mutual. -Sara F.
I learned that even though I thought that the prevention outing would be boring, it ended really well. I should not have expectations because they just ruin the entire experience. The kids that I met are smart, energetic, and uninhibited to share what they know once they get to know you. Understanding that AIDS is a critical problem in South Africa, one might think that there are not many programs available to prevent the dispersion of the disease. Noticing that these kids chose to be apart of CAT is a positive step in the right direction because once they grow up they will have the correct knowledge about sexual transmitted diseases and can hopefully change the stigma associated with AIDS. -Sarah M.
Teen Pregnancy
After we left the container where the teen pregnancy meetings took place we went inside a large room used as a shelter that temporarily houses refugees… It was heartbreaking to see one elderly man in particular who was very ill and dying. It amazed me to think that a man was dying in the same large room where other male refugees were watching television and women carried on with cleaning the shelter.
In the shelter there was a kitchen in the corner of the room where South Africans volunteered their time to prepare food for the refugees. However, they were telling us how they do not have very much food to give them. -Monica
But the most intriguing part of the day was the refugee camp next door to the building of the support group. The building looked like a large auditorium where 500 refugees were originally living, now the number has dwindled down to 140. The division of the room included men watching television, women tending to their babies and cleaning. There was one man who was lying on the ground who was dying of chronic tuberculoses and another girl was lying on the ground sick. The startling part was babies were just wondering around the severely sick. The only people helping the refugees were volunteers from South Africa. The refugees mostly came from Zimbabwe but are from all over Africa. -Courtney
Another issue we discussed was the role of the man. The culture is very much male-dominated, in that men are the ones who have the power. Denise was telling us that these men think that using a condom makes them less of a man. This is why women will not try to talk to their partner about using condoms; the men take offense to it. What is frustrating to me is that even though these men won’t use condoms, they still worry about getting HIV after having the unprotected sex. To me, this means that the social stigma of wearing a condom and being called a “moffe” or a “girly-man” is worse than the stigma that comes with being HIV+. This is so frustrating and sad to me… however, it is their culture to try to be socially accepted, so they do what they have to do.
Another thing is that the men do not take rejection. This is where the rape issue comes in. Even though a woman doesn’t want to have sex with a man, she cannot reject him. Also, if a woman gets pregnant, she automatically has to marry the father of the child. He has to pay for her dowry still, but she has no say in the matter, she has to marry him… Women in the culture will also lie to their kids about sexuality and “if you touch your private parts, they’ll fall off” to the boys. They don’t sit down with their children and talk about what their “parts” are, or what you do with them, or what can happen to you when you have sex. Denise was saying that sex education is lacking, in part due to the “hush hush” idea that parents have about the whole concept, and this leads to more children becoming curious and experimenting at early ages. And after they have started experimenting, it’s already too late; they’ve contracted an STD, or HIV, or have gotten pregnant.
I learned so much about the South African culture from this discussion with Denise. Because of the culture, it’s not hard to understand how the HIV/AIDS problem has gotten so out of hand. People just don’t talk about sex and being safe. Women do not have a say if a condom is used or not. Men don’t use condoms because they will be looked down upon by their peers. All of these things are contributing to the spread of the disease, and what’s difficult is that we can’t just come in and say, “stop thinking that way” even though that’s what I so badly want to happen. -Jody