Here is the advice that I wish I had been given when I was new to college. Unfortunately, I had to pick it up the hard way. Your first year here will be much happier than my own if you don't have to attend the school of hard knocks and the university at the same time.

Academic Advice

1. Always attend your classes: you are tested on the information, lecture material is often easier to understand than the books assigned, lecture material is usually not in the books anyway, and most students attend their classes rather spottily and if you attend you will have a decisive edge over others in the competition for good grades.

2. Always take notes throughout a lecture: take complete notes by writing down everything you can of what the professor says -- note taking gives you a record of lectures that most of you will forget by dinnertime. How do you expect to remember a lecture well enough to be tested on the material 12 or 14 weeks after it is delivered if you don't have a written record of it?

3. Keep up with the reading as best you can and underline as you read so you can go back when you review for the test and not have to re-read everything.

4. Always work through the Wall: when you are studying, work just a little longer than you really want to work. This will increase your attention span rapidly and the cumulative effect of the extra work will pay off enormously by the time you’ve been here four or more years.

5. Take courses that will develop your command of language: thinking clearly, communicating well, and reading with understanding are all aspects of a single language skill – and acquiring that good skill is why you are at this university. There is nothing that we can teach you that is more important for your future success and happiness than this one skill. Don’t avoid those classes that will most help you develop it.

6. Check the final examination schedule carefully as you register for classes and try to avoid building a class schedule that has you taking two finals on the same day. A bad finals schedule is a big pain -- if it can't be avoided, and occasionally it can't, be aware of the problem early in the semester and plan ahead.

7. Avoid scheduling back to back classes at opposite ends of the campus -- unless you can bilocate!

8. Start working from the first day of the semester!

Bureaucratic Advice

1. Office workers in academia are underpaid and overworked.  Many students aren't very nice to them, but you will find that you will get better results if you are.

2. Avoid going outside channels: work within the established system or (in many cases) forget about getting much done around here. Once you are a "special case" patching up your problem will take time, worry, and occasionally money. Don't let this happen to you. Learn our institution's rules early, or you'll learn them too late!

3. Cheating is dishonest, and it is VERY dangerous. Teachers develop a razor-sharp intuition about such things. What seems not at all obvious to you is painfully obvious to an experienced and developed mind. No one tolerates cheating here, least of all the students sitting next to you who get lower grades because yours is unfairly higher. Don't do it, and avoid the F.

4. Keep copies of everything you give to anyone at this place.

Essay Exam Advice

1. When you begin, read through the entire essay assignment before you begin writing. FOLLOW DIRECTIONS EXACTLY.

2. Watch the time. Inexperienced students will often spend too much time on early portions of the test, and have too little remaining to do a good job on the rest. Be disciplined and push on through areas in which you get bogged down. You can always come back to them if you have the time later.

3. If you know the course material well, don't worry too much about the mechanics of writing the essay(s). The course material itself will structure your answers. Jot down in the top margin of your paper five or six of the basic ideas about which you want to write, in the order you want to write about them, and begin. If you get off track during the test, just refer back to this little list. DON'T BOTHER MAKING ELABORATE OUTLINES BEFORE YOU BEGIN UNLESS IT IS REQUIRED -- it is a waste of time.

4. English composition essays and tests:

a. Examine the assignment. Always follow directions exactly -- study them to make sure you are doing what has been asked of you. Generate material and loosely organize it before you begin writing. Remember to use an heuristic device (Who? What? How? Why? Where? When? or Static, Dynamic, and Relational) or just brainstorm (i.e. -- free associate).

b. Graders read many tests, so MAKE YOURS INTERESTING:

    use anecdote -- short and interesting stories from your own life experience or that of others
    to illustrate your points.

    use vivid language -- be colorful, descriptive -- don't leave your reader guessing about
    important details. WRITE WITH INTERESTING NOUNS AND VERBS
    AS WELL AS ADJECTIVES.

    watch your sentence variety -- get in the habit of varying your sentence structure and using all
    these punctuations: . , ; -- : and perhaps () ? and " ".

    use metaphor -- it is very impressive if done correctly.

    use specifics -- don't be airy and vague. Always give your reader the specifics and details
    needed to flesh out your more general statements, observations and arguments.

Psychological Advice

1. The Freshman Stress Syndrome: Do things seem a bit unreal and "thin"? Do you feel more like bit player in Dawn of the Dead than Animal House? Relax! You are merely afflicted with Freshman Stress Syndrome -- you and every other member of the Freshman class. When everything in your environment is of a sudden new and unfamiliar, as it is when you first come to college, it is inevitable that you'll feel some disorientation and anxiety. Just take things one at a time, dig into your studies, and before you know it, this place will seem like a home away from home.

2. The Sophomore Slump: Your first year here, you are generally too busy getting used to university life to worry much about choosing a major, choosing an occupation, developing more adequate social skills, finding a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, or answering the big questions in life (why are we here, what does it all mean, why is there pain and suffering and death?). When you return to school in your sophomore year, school is, you will suddenly realize, old hat, and these larger questions can hit you with a vengeance. If they do, remember these points, however cold the comfort will seem at the time:

a. Choose a major you like, and don't worry too much about the financial consequences. There are worse things than being poor and happy. Further, as studies have consistently shown that liberal arts majors reach the fifth level of management in our major corporations more quickly and in greater numbers than business majors or engineers, it is clear that what counts most toward your future success is less the major you choose than your developing the ability to think and communicate well.

b. The workaday world is designed so that average folks can do quite well in it -- but none of you is just average. Don't worry -- you'll be employed. And life is not over at 22 -- you can work toward satisfying and happy employment at any point in your life.

c. You don't have to have the silly savoir faire of a James Bond -- just be yourself. Those who are worth knowing will first like you as you are, and then you can each mature further with the others' support. THERE REALLY IS SOMEBODY FOR EVERYONE. Be patient. It doesn't have to happen by the time you're 22, you know.

d. The older you get, the less terrifying the Big Questions become. The root fear is fear of the unknown, not fear of death. When you come howling from the womb, do you know anything of death? No! It is the unknown that is so frightening. The older you get, the more you succeed and fail, the less frightening the unknown becomes and the less you fear death, pain and suffering. (That doesn't mean you might not still be puzzled by it all -- just much less afraid.) So relax as much as you can now in the expectation that time will soon begin to work its magic on you, too.

3. Psychological Symbiosis: When you were living at home, you were psychologically congruent with your parents and siblings, mirroring their quirks and peculiarities as well as their strengths. The familial psychological gestalt you together constellated was relatively stable and changed only very slowly -- it was "homeostatic," the individual but interdependent elements of your family group together reached a relatively stable equilibrium. Now, however, you will be bumping up against the quirks and peculiarities of roommates, who are not psychologically congruent with you at all. Too, you will be exposed in college to new ways of thinking and feeling. Away from your old familial psychological environment, immersed in a new psychological environment which intends to make you over into a sensitive thinking person, you will begin changing faster than you have ever changed in your life. Rapid change, even when it is desirable, is disorienting and painful. But there is nothing for it if you are to mature. What solace there is can be had by naming the process and knowing that it has its end in a greater maturity and wisdom.

4. BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF! That most essential skill that we teach you (thinking clearly and using language well) takes time to acquire -- and you'll necessarily master the basics slowly.  We crawl before we walk, and walk before we run.  All the best skills take effort and time to learn.  When you get frustrated, remember the old Shaolin saying, "The ox is slow, but the earth is patient."