MONDAY, MARCH 22, 1999

Hug me, man

Have you ever wondered why people seem so uncomfortable with greetings? Without a traditional salutation, many Americans find themselves in the embarrassing situation of extending their hand to shake while the other person opens both arms with the intentions of a hug.

Not to sound sexist, but it seems men have the most difficulty handling greetings. Have you ever seen the half-hug shake? One hand extends for a hand shake while the other pitifully taps the opposite shoulder twice.

Apparently this means, I like you more than an acquaintance, but do not get too close, man.

At airports you can spot an awkward father and son goodbye a mile away. Usually after a few words - or dead silence - a hug occurs so rapidly that you do not even see actual physical contact.

Personal space can be quite the touchy subject with homophobia fueling the flames. Or should we call it paranoia?

Some men feel keeping their distance is in their best interest. Oooh, wouldn't want anyone to start thinking anything.

But we cannot blame adult men entirely, since it was probably their own fathers who stopped being affectionate with them after childhood.

In other countries men hugging men is socially acceptable. In fact, it is the only way people greet each other.

Also, in other countries, kissing to say hello and goodbye is as common as conversing with friends.

Back in the glorious states we continue to grapple with hellos and goodbyes. You'd think we could get it together enough to have a universal greeting.

Or how about a little eye contact? It has gotten so bad that even eye contact is like a violation of someone's privacy.

To look at someone and smile used to be considered a kind gesture, but now more often than not, people look at you like, What do you want?

Nonetheless, do not be afraid to hug your friend; it feels pretty good.

Regardless of how you were socially conditioned, physical contact with others is really quite natural.