Graduate, travel, seek employment

To the unlucky graduates with no job or prospects, I offer my sympathy because you are under more pressure now than when you were before graduation. The bank has sent a letter asking for a repayment plan for the thousands of dollars that they so generously loan to you. In addition, parents, uncles and aunts are asking the dreaded question: "And, where you will be working now?"

You can always say you have several offers pending. Of course, that excuse loses its fissile as the weeks go by and you're still lying around watching reruns of ten-year-old sitcoms and the soaps.

Another option is to announce that you are going to graduate school because you have found that the job market is too unstable and you need more training. Explain how the Internet has changed the world of employment, and without technical skills you can't get a job that will allow you to take advantage of your education.

Maybe your parents will pay for more training and your delinquent school loans. Write the bank and explain your situation. Pray that they believe you and send more money.

If none of the above works, log onto the Employment Development Department Web site and register for work. You don't have to get dressed, drive to the office and stand in long lines with unemployed people who didn't graduate from college.

Right there in the comfort of your parents' house, you can complete your resume and apply for jobs once you are registered with EDD. The best part is you can do it all without missing an episode of your favorite soaps.

If your search through the hundreds of job listing and the links to other job sites prove to be fruitless, don't give up. There is one more option open to you.

By this time, the credit card companies have added you to their mailing lists and you can complete the pre-approved forms with a little embellishment. A few weeks later, you have a stack of new credit cards with huge credit limits.

The next step is to plan a special party for your parents, relatives and friends. Use one of your new cards to have the dinner catered with lots of booze. After the wine and beer has flowed for a while, call for a toast. At this point you announce that you are going to travel around until you find where your interests really lie and Europe is the best place to start. Pass the breadbasket for donations to get you started.

After a few months when the credit cards are canceled and your person-to-person calls home are refused, you will be inspired to work your way back home and actually look for employment. In the meantime, enjoy.

Carrie P. Jones is the opinion editor of the Daily Forty-Niner.