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If you already know that dropping in has nothing to do with sky diving, hitting the lip is not wife beating and being a kook does not mean you have to prepare meals, then disregard this article - you are a surfer.
However, if you are new to the sport keep reading. This way, when you do paddle out, other surfers will not call you a kook.
Finding the right time to surf is easy. Weekdays are usually less crowded and mornings, before the wind has picked up, bring the best waves.
The lifeguard will know the size of the surf (If it is anything less than three feet, stay in bed) and the time of high and low tides. Try to go at a medium tide.
Do not even attempt to search for a wave in Long Beach. Finding waves in town is an unattainable goal.
Get in your car and head about 10 miles south on Pacific Coast Highway to Huntington Beach. Stop when you see the pier.
Dropping in: The act of riding the wave to the bottom.
Hitting the lip: Carving the surfboard through the crest of the wave.
Kook: A person who talks like a professional, but does not know how to surf.
There is metered parking along Main Street or parking is available on the south side of the pier for $6 a day.
Main Street has a wealth of surf shops. Pick any as your first destination. Ask the sales associate if you can rent a board and a wetsuit. Considering it is your first day, go for the half-day rental price.
The water around the pier is usually swamped with experienced surfers. A more mellow crowd can be found further down the beach.
It is your first attempt, so stay near the shore and practice on the smaller waves.
Three hints to never forget: Never use your knees when getting up, do whatever it takes to avoid accidents with other surfers and do not panic - lifeguards are on the beach.
After about an hour of face-planting into the bottom of the sea, you probably will be ready to give up the sport altogether.
Perseverance is the key, however, so do not give up. Surfing is not like ping pong. It takes months, sometimes even years of practice to get good, so do not feel defeated if you do not stand up on the first day.