The scary Halloween fright list:

Scariest haunted house: The Pyramid during StingRay games. Take a look into the stands and I dare you to find a better ghost town. Scarier than that: The few people who are in the stands.

Freakiest guy you should never throw anything at: Charles Barkley. If he were in the NFL, quarterbacks would fear throwing him the ball. He might throw them through a plate glass window, too. Scarier than that: The fact that he was sitting with five women who were drooling all over him.

Scariest front office decision: The Indiana Pacers's Larry Bird taking the floor Friday as head coach. Scarier than that: The fact that Donald Sterling's yutz Elgin Baylor is still in charge of the Clippers.

Scariest gathering: Those who show up at The Nugget for Monday Night Football. Scarier than that: Those who dress for the occasion, wearing football garb while leaping to their feet yelling, "DAN DIERDOF IS THE MAN!"

Scariest thought: That every women's volleyball team in the country must get past Cal State Long Beach to win the national championship. Scarier than that: Nobody will.

Scariest fans: The men's volleyball team which, screaming at the top of its lungs, appears at almost every CSULB water polo game. Scarier than that: They are more entertaining than the game.

Second scariest fans: Oakland Raider followers living in Southern California. Scarier than that: They'll stab you if you make fun of them.

Scariest mascot: The CSULB Prospector Pete at the volleyball, basketball and baseball games. Scarier than that: Nothing.

Scariest person behind a microphone: The homer at the mike at StingRay and CSULB men's basketball games. Scarier than that: If they had Helen Keller do it instead.

Scariest menu: The concessions at The Pyramid. Scarier than that: Watching it splash back into the toilet hours later.

Scariest entertainers: The cheerleaders at volleyball games. Scarier than that: The thought that they think the crowd is watching because they appreciate their dance skills.

Scariest barbecue bash: The Hawaiian luau before Saturday's women's volleyball game. Scarier than that: The fact that there will be more CSULB students posing as U of Hawaii fans than actual CSULB students. If you are going to the game, do me a favor: Unless you are from the islands, leave your flower-laden shirts and skirts at home. Trust me, you'll look like a moron.

Mike Besack is a staff writer for the Daily Forty-Niner. His column appears Tuesdays and Thursdays.