Decline
in quality of TV programming detrimental
Molly
Stewart
Let
me first start out by saying I haven’t
had cable since my parents took it away
after they caught me watching “Fatal
Attraction” when I was 7. Since
then, I’ve longed for the sweet
comfort of shows I could only dream about
on MTV, E! or VH1.
Today I happily watch all three networks more often than I do dirty cable movies,
but the quality of the television I watch is pretty depressing. I can’t
remember the last time I watched the news or CNN, but I can recall the last
episode of “Next” in which the last girl on the bus peed in her
seat during her date. While this is extremely funny and entertaining, it’s
kind of sad this is probably what college kids are tuning into.
Our parents watched wholesome television like “Leave it to Beaver” and
they considered “The Twilight Zone” edgy. We watch trash like
“Elimidate” and don’t blink an eye when someone’s blood
squirts all over after being shot in the face in “Saw II.”
The truth is, if someone doesn’t get killed, have sex or use the curse
words at least 20 times, it’s just not good television. That’s
what the ratings say and most of my friends agree.
But the secret pleasure of indulging in this kind of entertainment, or crack
for your eyes as I like to call it, is affecting all of us. I swear I can actually
feel myself getting dumber after watching my favorite show this season, “The
Flavor of Love.”
Since I was born after parachute pants and leg warmers were “totally
radical,’’ I have no clue who Flavor Flav even is. All I can tell
is he used to be a famous rapper who now wears giant clocks, garish purple
pimp suits completed with a top hat and cane and screams “Flavor Flav!” at
the top of his lungs constantly.
The fact that these women are so desperately in love with him blows my mind,
but also keeps me glued to the TV like 15-year-old boys are to Stri-Dex and
porn.
But what does this addiction to trash television many of us have mean about
the kind of adults we’re going to be?
Remember our parents telling us that we’re going to be the future leaders
of the country someday? Well, if that’s true, I feel really bad
for America, because the last time I checked most of us knew more about Paris
Hilton than port security.
Just like everything else that’s wrong with society, I blame our fascination
with garbage television on the media. Slowly over time, television has become
increasingly filled with sex and violence as we’ve grown from toddlers
to teens. Lucy and Desi weren’t allowed to share the same bed in the ’50s;
today there’s a third person in the mix. Nothing shocks us anymore.
Shows like “Elimidate” teach us that love, or at least a warm bed
for the night, can be found by doing body shots and pretending to be a lesbian.
“
Date My Mom” showcases 50-something overweight moms with low-cut tops
trying desperately to be sexy with their tattooed and pierced daughters who
claim they look “just like Britney Spears.” As the moms make crude
sexual innuendos the guys laugh awkwardly and they make rude jokes to the camera
like, “I’d like to taste her melons.”
These shows are degrading and completely fake, but they’re also freaking
hilarious. OK, maybe they aren’t exactly brain food. That’s an
understatement. They probably are turning our minds into mush.
But after we get enough school during the day, it’s nice to come home
and laugh at people who make our normal, boring lives seem great. We may not
be rich, good-looking or in love, but at least we aren’t waiting on a
bus for a date so long that we lose control of our bladders. Next.
Molly Stewart is a freshman journalism major.
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