Romance in France surreal
experience, similar
Aneya
Fernando
After
the initial shock of moving to France
in the middle of high school, I gradually
adjusted to a new way of life. I learned
the language relatively quickly and found
a group of friends to call my own. I
remember my American buddies calling
me, wanting to know one thing: what are
French boys like?
So I told them everything I knew about the dating rituals in France. Now, I
share all I’ve learned with everyone else.
I’ll start with a boy named Luca. Luca is your typical hunky French man.
Luca smokes like a chimney, gels his thick, dark hair back every morning and
kisses his male friends on the cheek, once on each side, when he greets them.
Luca wears baggy pants, tight T-shirts and his boxers are always showing.
Luca is a huge flirt. He loves girls and craves constant attention from females.
He’s one of those smack your ass/pull your bra strap kind of guys that
you love to hate. Luca is not the smartest kid on the block, but he sure is
the fastest. As an expert runner, he’s had a lot of experience running
from police while vandalizing and stealing from stores across the country.
He is a sexy bad boy with gorgeous green eyes and a naughty little smile. Girls
worship him. Guys want to be him. This is Luca.
Then there is the typical French girl, Camille. Camille dresses like she’s
going clubbing when she is actually going to biology class. She wears an alarming
amount of dark makeup, changes her hair color monthly and is constantly text
messaging friends during class. Camille likes Luca. Duh, don’t we all?
The difference is she’s gonna get him.
How, you ask? By following these simple steps.
1) Hang out with him during break. By hanging out, I mean sitting in his lap,
have a laugh or two about nothing in particular and share a ciggie.
2) Get to know his friends. This doesn’t mean sleep with them or give
them sexual favors. It means find out what you can about the man. His likes,
dislikes, hobbies, etc.
3) The final step is to casually tell him there’s this thing happening
at so and so’s house and that
you’re going. Hint, hint. You are basically giving him an opportunity
to ask you out. And he does.
Now, one of two things will happen on this date. A) You go to the party, get
totally wasted, hook up, and the next day at school he completely ignores you
and talks about you behind your back to his friends or B) You go to the party,
you don’t drink, you don’t hook up and the next day you come to
school and he’s told everyone what a prude you are.
So what do you do? Well, don’t go after these idiots in the first place.
They exist all over the world, terrorizing girls.
I said this was the typical French boy. This is true. But there are exceptions.
There are sweet French boys, the ones you see in the movies who are romantic
and kind. There are nerdy French boys, shy French boys, soccer-crazy French
boys — the list goes on.
In the end, it’s up to you to decide if the Lucas in the world are worth
your time. Sometimes they grow up. Sometimes they don’t.
I realized the dating rituals in France are very similar to the ones here in
the United States If a guy’s a jerk, dump him, or better yet don’t
date him in the first place. There are plenty fish in the sea.
Aneya Fernando is a freshman journalism major.
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