Evolution’s
erotic intentions are sex, anthropology
Simon Barta
Now I’m no fancy anthropologist, but I’ve been told the peacock with
the prettiest feathers gets the most gets laid first.
Now I don’t know about you, but I think that says a lot about sex.
But what does this mean for humans? We don’t have feathers or anything
like that. So, what drives sex then?
Is it looks? Clothes? Money? Well, after many nights of binge drinking and cheating
on tests, I’ve come to the conclusion that sexual selection for humans
is totally based off of certain personality traits.
I believe that no one is ugly because in the course of human evolution sexual
dimorphism evolved internally leaving only certain personality traits to be judged
by the opposite sex; whereas a peacock would have colorful plumage, humans would
have a sense of humor.
See, as we evolved to become bipedal, furless creatures, our external dimorphism
vanished. And in place of physical characteristics our brains took over as primary
source for natural selection.
We developed beyond just need and emotion; we became able to generate distinct
personalities. In turn, our ancestors were able to use rational thought, rather
than just superficial needs, to decide who would bear their children.
It became essential for humans that their brains evolve and grow disproportionately
large, because without this aspect sexual selection would not exist.
This is
why we, like no other animal in the world, have such large brains and are able
to think. It is because of sex, nothing more.
So, really, it doesn’t matter how you look, or even what clothes you wear,
as long as you possess the right kind of game you can get laid. Think about it,
don’t we all pretty much look the same anyway?
It’s like dogs — no
one would say a dog is hot because it has a nice smile or a good nose. It is
a dog. People do not care about stuff like that, so why would it be any different
for humans?
For example, I was watching an episode of “MADE” on MTV where one
nasty chick wanted to become a beauty queen. She had a dorky haircut, greasy
skin, nerdy glasses and t-shirts with unicorns and crap all over them. I totally
thought she was disgusting.
But, after they did her hair, gave her hot clothes, and washed her face, she
looked pretty hot. I mean she was not super hot, but I would do her.
So, it doesn’t matter what you look like because anyone can become hot.
You would need the right amount of makeup and clothes, of course.
Similarly, think about all the pictures of people from the early 1900s. Have
you ever seen one you wanted to have sex with, or even wanted to kiss for that
matter? But, they all seemed to have bred.
But I digress. My point is, if anyone can become good-looking why would
looks make any difference when it comes to getting laid?
So, this is what I’ve been trying to say this whole time— looks mean
nothing. Any dude out there who thinks he can not get with a hot girl because
he is not good looking enough should really reconsider.
I personally know a few guys who are really weird looking and they totally get
hot chicks. Looks mean nothing, no matter what you think.
Even that really hot chick with the big sunglasses and the done-up hair could
put out if you say the right things.
It’s all a matter of mind and
personality, nothing else.
Simon Barta is a sophomore film major.
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