Shocked
Hoosier’s observations of the Golden
State
Molly
Stewart
So,
what is wakeboarding exactly? That is
one of the many questions I had the moment
I arrived in Long Beach from Indiana,
the land of cornfields, cows and deep-fried
Reeses cups.
Most people’s jaws drop as I explain that I drove to live in Southern
California, or So-Cal as most call it around here. When they finally close
their mouths, the next question usually is, “Why did you come to Long
Beach?”
Let’s just say California is really, really different from Indiana. And
I like that.
First of all, what the heck is hookah? Most people smoke plain old boring cigarettes
back in Indy.
And where are all those morbidly obese people riding around in their motorized
carts? In Indiana, the fifth fattest state in America, most people consider
eating at McDonald’s every day to be a well-balanced diet.
Sushi is a gross and foreign food from far-away lands and the only spice we
add to our meat and potatoes is salt.
Many people here radiate a rich, golden bronze. Where I’m from we’re
all a sickly-looking pale shade of white. The few souls who do regularly go
to tanning booths stick out like a hick on a surfboard.
Many folks from Indiana have never seen the ocean. I still have yet to touch
a surfboard, wakeboard or wet suit. The closest most people get in my town
is fishing in the river or paddling a canoe.
Hoosiers, or Indiana natives, stand for three things: basketball, buffalo wings
and Bush. Many folks are gun-toting, tobacco-chewing, God-Bless-America conservatives.
In California I have yet to see one God Bless Our Troops bumper sticker, or
the more controversial “Man Plus Woman Equals Marriage, Man Plus Man
Equals Sin” that adorns several of the license plates in Indy.
Let me also just say In-N-Out Burger is one of the most delicious restaurants
I’ve ever been to. End of story.
There are many wonderful things about California, but the state does lack one
of the finest delicacies known to man: White Castle.
I’m sure many of you have seen the movie “Harold and Kumar Go to
White Castle,” but have never sampled an actual White Castle double cheeseburger.
If you ever get the chance, order one, no, two bags of the tiny little white
boxes of greasy happiness.
They are worth the triple-bypass most Hoosiers will get within their lifetimes.
Yet, there are some things that Indiana does better, in my humble opinion.
Driving, for instance. You all are crazy on the freeway. Seven lanes?! Who
needs seven lanes?
Everyone is hurrying to go when they weave in and out, cut people off and generally
scare me to death.
My hands were gripping the wheel so hard when I drove to LAX that my knuckles
turned white and tears were streaming down my face.
We have one major, three-lane highway in Indianapolis and I have never gotten
stuck on it for hours like in Los Angeles, where it can take anywhere from
20 minutes to two hours to go 10 miles.
I’m not surprised so many people choose to live in Southern California,
the weather is simply amazing. Every day it’s comfortable outside and
sunny. Where are the depressing, cloudy, overcast days where you’re lucky
if the thermometer reaches 40 degrees?
I won’t miss the days I had to get up two hours early to shovel snow
from the driveway in order to get to school, that’s for sure. Seeing
palm trees and sand is so surreal to me because I’m used to wide open
green fields with cows and horses.
Truthfully, Indiana has a lot to offer. Midwestern people have good morals
and values; they work hard and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
Give us a steaming slice of meatloaf and an ice-cold glass of milk and we’re
in heaven. But let me tell you, from a girl in the land where hanging out at
a Wal-Mart is the definition of a rockin’ Saturday night, I think I could
get used to life at The Beach.
Molly Stewart is a freshman journalism major. |
