Students
struggle to deal with ‘helicopter
parents’
By
Angelica de la Pena
Daily Forty-Niner
Contributing Writer
Nationwide, campuses are noting an increase of parents involved in their children’s
college education and daily decision-making. Consequently, this leaves many
students no room for growth or independence. Some call them “helicopter
parents.”
These “helicopter parents” stay overly involved by complaining
to campus officials about their child’s housing assignments, roommates,
grades and school paperwork.
Cal State Long Beach senior Sara Etherington remembered a student in her English
class last year who handed their professor her cell phone to speak with her
mother about why she failed the test.
“I couldn’t believe it,” said Etherington. “I didn’t
think parents could get involved with their child’s grades in college.
I felt like we were in high school again. The professor looked surprised too.”
In recent years this is a common occurrence; where parents are not only overbearing
to their students but to professors and administrators as well.
Scott Chesney, Director of Residential Life from the University of New Hampshire,
felt the burden and wrote a newsletter to parents regarding their influence
over their students’ living situation.
“At one level we embrace the notion of partnering with you to make your
son’s or daughter’s experience as productive as possible,” Chesney
said. “However, we worry sometimes that your interventions may well be
impeding your son’s or daughter’s climb toward independence.”
Gene Ano, a psychologist from Counseling and Psychological Services at CSULB,
said many parents have a hard time dealing with the reality that their child
is becoming less dependent. Therefore, some parents become even more over-bearing.
“Unfortunately for many parents, their children have become their life
and it is hard to let them go,” Ano said.
It is hard for many CSULB students to detach from their parents.
“I call my dad for everything,” said sophomore Susie Torres. “I
wouldn’t even know what to do or where to begin if it wasn’t for
my dad.”
While there are many parents who help their student’s college life run
smoothly, others hinder their student’s time to grow into an independent
young adult.
“Rely upon your parents for support but use your college experience to
grow and develop mastery of certain skills,” Ano said.
Instead of running to your parents, Ano said, it is important to talk to your
professors and the administration yourself, which will help you develop professionalism
and individuality.
But many students lack control over how protective or smothering their parents
are. There is a lot of pressure for many students as they transition into college
and leave home for the first time.
Claudia Villareal, former officer of Hermanas Unidas, a support network primarily
for Latina girls, dealt with members of her group who struggled with their
parent’s protectiveness.
“Sometimes we would have to talk to their parents on the phone explaining
that we were really going to the library or volunteering somewhere,” she
said.
In response to the pressure many of their members felt from their parents,
they created an event called “Dia de la Familia,” which explains
what their organization is about.
Ano’s advice to students’ parents is, “Be involved but not
too involved. Be protective but not too protective. Let your students grow
into the young adult you want them to be.”
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