The
Internet's greatest hits
Gerry
Wachovsky
Ah,
the Internet, the adult playground of the
information age. Where else can one go to
find anything one's heart desires? Seriously
folks, the Internet is the largest resource
that has ever been available and continues
to grow by the minute. In this "dot-com"
era with new Web sites and homepages springing
up daily, it is amazing how some Web sites
soar above and beyond the rest, and continue
to entertain, educate and titillate audiences.
As you may well know, I write this weekly
article as a public service, and what better
way to reward you, the reader, than with
a little digital treat? It is with this
mindset that I present to you my top-five
list of interesting, controversial, and
downright absurd Web sites, all for your
perusing pleasure.
Coming
in at number five on my list is a website
known as www.iilegal-art.org. This unique
Web site, which is dedicated to providing
the viewer with "Freedom of Expression
in the Corporate Age," is where one
can find random audio and video samples
of certain risqué -- and sometimes
banned -- material. The highlight of this
Web site is a film entitled "Superstar:
The Karen Carpenter Story," a not-so-politically-correct
biography on the life and death of the same
woman whose surname adorns our beloved Carpenter
Center here at Cal State Long Beach. This
film, which is acted entirely by Barbie
dolls and features music of the Carpenters
"used without permission," is
a very disturbing portrayal of not only
anorexia but also acceptance, and is a must-see.
Plus, as I said, it is acted entirely by
Barbie dolls, so how can one go wrong?
No.
4 on my list is a Web site that is dedicated
to keeping a watchful eye on the master
of "fictitiousness," Michael Moore.
Www.moorewatch.com is a tool whose main
purpose is to "debunk most of the nonsense
Moore regularly puts forth as fact,"
and it does so extraordinarily well. Updated
daily, this site features hundreds of links
to articles relating to the scum that is
Michael Moore, as well as a message board
where one can post one's own comments about
Moore. Any Michael Moore hater should bookmark
this site right away.
Clocking
in at No. 3 on the list is a Web site dedicated
to one of the most versatile rappers/comics/geniuses
that ever lived, Snoop Dogg. This Web site,
www.asksnoop.com, allows the user to type
in the address of any Web site on the net,
and through the magic of "Tha Shizzolator,"
it will translate all the text on the site
of your choice to Snoop's own hilarious
lexicon. Some favorite "shizzolated"
sites of mine include www.cnn.com and www.whitehouse.gov.
Missing
first place by a narrow margin is www.hotornot.com,
which allows viewers to see random pictures
of girls or guys and rate them on a scale
of one to ten, one being "NOT"
and ten being "HOT." For the bitter
among us -- myself included -- answer this
question: what could be better than giving
a hot girl or a hot guy a low score, as
a sort of juvenile revenge for their never
dating you in high school? What better way
to take out your frustration over the fickleness
of the opposite sex? Go ahead, my disciples,
unleash your rage.
Finally
we come to the peak of our top-five list
journey, the quintessential Web site that
is, in my mind, No. 1. I have mentioned
this Web site before in previous articles,
and I have had many a laugh while logged
onto it. It features more celebrity mug
shots than you can shake a stick at, not
to mention all the eyebrow-raising articles
it features, as it "paves the paper
trail." Some of you probably already
know what site this is, but for those whom
do not, I present to you www.thesmokinggun.com,
the number one Web site on my list. Visit
it, bookmark it, come back often for more,
you will thank me later. By the way, I do
accept checks and cash for this knowledge
I have bestowed upon you.
So
there it is, my comprehensive -- albeit
sophomoric -- list of Web sites that I love
to visit. Whether it is for a daily dose
of absurdity, a laugh, or a gasp, I think
you will agree that these Web sites are
the crème-de-la-crème of the
wackiness that is available only on the
Internet. Until next time, happy surfing!
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