Schneider goes abroad in ‘European Gigolo’

By Lesley Nickus
On-line Forty-Niner

After the great success of “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo,” Rob Schneider and his team of talented writers have decided to do a sequel: “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo,” set in Amsterdam. Since learning the ways of the “man-whore” in the first movie, TJ (Deuces “pimp”) convinces Deuce to travel to Europe and solve a puzzling murder mystery: Who is killing off all the great European gigolos?

Set in Amsterdam, “European Gigolo” comes with a new crop of physically and psychologically disturbed women to whom Deuce must lend his services. Although the script is still in the finishing stages, the movie is set to begin filming soon and will be released sometime in 2005.

The On-line Forty-Niner got a unique chance to chat with the character’s creator Rob Schneider during a conference call with writers from San Jose State and De Paul University in Chicago, IL while Schneider was in Las Vegas.

Q. What made you get into acting?

A. I knew I was never going to have success with girls playing the trombone in the band… My dad was always into comedy so we had a lot of comedy albums like Woody Allen around the house. Then my brother-in-law turned me on to Cheech and Chong and George Carlin. I was a comedy nerd.
Mel Brooks just killed me man…”The Producers,” “Blazing Saddles” and “Young Frankenstein;” those are pretty good back to back to back.

Q. I heard you were a fan of Australian comedy as well.

A. I do like Australian humor actually. I love the movie “The Castle.” Those guys are great. (Starts talking with an Australian accent) You know, the key to an Australian accent is to not move your upper lip… I love Australia, I want to move there. It’s like America in the ’50s; they got like 23 million people.”

Q. It seems like you get a lot of bad publicity from the critics. What do you think about that?

A. Man, f*** the f***ng critics. They’re a bunch of assholes. They don’t work from a place of joy and fun. We’re not trying to please critics.
Roger Ebert’s a dumb, fat f***. He’s always been a dumb, fat f*** and Gene Siskel sitting next to him for 25 years…it finally killed him. So f*** Roger Ebert and his gigantic, blocked colon.
I go see the film with an audience and it’s great because they’re laughing their ass off.

Q. What’s your creative process?

A. Well, I never wanted to do a sequel for “Deuce Bigalow” and then it was like: “If were gonna do it, were gonna make it a monster.” So, I wrote a first draft with a couple of guys: David Garret and Jason Ward. We’ve been working on it over a year. We started on it in March of 2003.
You have to be so excited about something so that you’re not bored and wanna jump out of a window. You have to get a running head start [for] when the inevitable pitfalls [occur].

Q. So, why, of all Europe, did you choose Amsterdam?

A. That’s where the college kids want to go. That’s where I wanted to go. Actually, it’s legal prostitution over there. Deuce goes over and his pimp tries to get him back in to “man-whoring.” We’re trying to get some great European actors to be in it.

Q. So, legalized marijuana had nothing to do with it?

A. Well, ya, the legal pot. We’ve got a whole pot scene. I got the script right over here… (Reads a scene involving marijuana.)

Q. Looking back on your SNL days, what was your favorite skit?

A. There was one with the Italian waiters that Adam Sandler wrote. It’s one of those sketches you could put in a time capsule. That was probably the most memorable one…I did mention that Roger Ebert’s a big fat f*** right?

Q. After playing a man whore, do you have any advice about how to deal with women?

A. Yeah, I do. When you’re dating a woman and she criticizes you or is feeling bad about something, don’t get defensive. Ask her ‘How does that make you feel? It’s not about being right in a relationship. Figure out how a woman feels. You could be right and be ruining your relationship. And also learn how to give a good foot massage, very important.

Q. Does Deuce ever actually have sex in the sequel?

A. He doesn’t get laid a lot but he goes out with these women and they’re not really looking for sex. But there’s a bunch of new women with all kinds of different problems in this one.

Q. How much money do you have in your pocket right now?

A. Two crisp hundred dollar bills from the ‘Wheel of Fortune’ machine at the Hard Rock Casino.

Q. Do you prefer boxers or briefs?

A. I was a big boxer fan. But, recently, when I was in Europe, there were some pretty cool briefs and I do like them. You have to have a certain kind of body to wear briefs and pull ‘em off. Some guys think they’re still like they were when they were 20 but they’re not!

Q. If there was any job you could do besides acting, what would it be?

A. Umm…it would probably be sailing. Being on a boat. I love the water, the ocean.

Q. Is there any job you wouldn’t do?

A. Fast food. I can’t stand that greasy stuff. I was a dish washer at an Ice Cream parlor when I was a kid and it was awful.