The handy Coachella 2004 pocket guide

By Brian Spiegel
On-line Forty-Niner

When: This weekend!!!

Where: The Empire Polo Field in Indio, CA.

Times: Parking lots open both days at 9 a.m., doors at 11 a.m. They end at midnight Saturday and 11 p.m. Sunday.

Parking: Parking is free (probably the only time you’ll hear the word free all weekend). Saturday should be a madhouse so get there early.

Tickets: Tickets for Saturday are sold out (though a friendly scalper might be able to help you out with that, just give him a wave… of your money). Two day passes are also sold out. Plenty of tickets available for Sunday, though (around $80). Box office opens at 9 a.m.

Temperature: Probably triple-digits with a chance of hot molten lava.

What to bring money for: Gas (or drive all your friends and guilt them into paying for it). Everything is cash only!!! Waters are $2, sodas are about $4. I wasn’t very impressed by the food last year but you can get a meal for anywhere between $5 to $7. The best bet is to bring more money then you need, that way if you really want that Radiohead T-shirt you can happily buy it.

What to bring with you: Lots and lots of sunblock. With the hot, hot temperature you’ll need about an SPF 11,000. Also bring a hat and, if you want, an “unprofessional” (whatever that means) digital camera. You can't bring: chairs, instruments, knives, thermonuclear devices, flags, blankets, stuffed animals (yes, it says that on the list), wallet chains and drugs. What a bore.

Where should you stay if you're going to be there overnight? Ha, ha, ha, good luck. Overnight camping at the venue is sold out as I’m pretty sure all the hotel rooms in a 50-mile radius are. Your best bet is maybe finding a room in Riverside. Sure, it’s quite a drive, but it sure beats driving back and forth from Orange County.

Will beer be sold? Yes, but why the hell would you want it in 100 degree heat? Stick to the $2 waters to keep yourself hydrated.

Toilets: The portable toilets are cleaned throughout the day so they aren’t actually that bad… but the lines are.

What are the set times? At the time that this guide was written the set times weren’t out yet. But I have a feeling by the time this is published they will probably be up at www.coachella.com.

Are camels allowed in the venue? Why would you want to bring a camel in the venue?

Who should I catch on Saturday? Kinky, Radiohead, The Pixies, Phantom Planet, Junior Senior, The Desert Sessions, Trial Of The Dead and Mindless Self Indulgence.

Who should you catch on Sunday? The Flaming Lips, The Cure, Basement Jaxx, Cursive, Mogwai, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Sage Francis and Air.

How do you get there? From Los Angeles: Interstate 10 east toward Palm Springs. Pass Highway 111. Exit 10 at Monroe Street. Traffic personnel will direct cars to the Empire Polo Field, and the event parking lots. This is from the Web site so you might want to use MapQuest or something like that to get there from your house.

If you more questions: Stop your whining and go to www.coachella.com. It’s a good idea to catch up with the latest info before you leave.