The
Internet’s Top Five
By Gerry Wachovsky
Summer On-line Forty-Niner Ah,
the Internet, the adult playground of the
information age. Where else can one go to
find anything one’s heart desires? Seriously
folks, the Internet is the largest resource
that has ever been available and it continues
to grow exponentially by the minute. In
this "dot-com" era with new Web sites and
homepages springing up daily, it is amazing
how some Web sites soar above and beyond
the rest, and continue to entertain, educate,
and titillate audiences. As you may well
know, I write this weekly article as a public
service, and what better way to reward you,
the reader, than with a little digital treat?
It is with this mindset that I present to
you my top-five list of interesting, controversial,
and downright absurd Web sites, all for
your perusing pleasure.
Coming
in at No. 5 on my list is a Web site
known as www.illegal-art.com. This unique
site, which is dedicated to providing the
viewer with "freedom of expression in the
corporate age," is where one can find random
audio, video, and visual samples of certain
risqué (and sometimes banned) material.
The highlight of this Web site is a film
titled "Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story,"
a not-so-politically-correct biography on
the life and death of the same woman whose
surname adorns our beloved Carpenter Center
here at Cal State Long Beach. This film,
which is acted entirely by Barbie dolls
and features music of the Carpenters "used
without permission," is a very disturbing
portrayal of not only anorexia but also
acceptance, and is a must-see, in my opinion.
Plus, as I said, it is acted entirely by
Barbie dolls, so how can one go wrong?
No.
4 on my list is a Web site that is dedicated
to keeping a watchful eye on the master
of "fictitiousness," Michael Moore. This
site, found at www.moorewatch.com, is a
tool whose main purpose is to "debunk most
of the nonsense Moore regularly puts forth
as fact," and it does so extraordinarily
well. Updated daily, this site features
hundreds of links to articles relating to
the scum that is Michael Moore, as well
as a message board where one can post one’s
own comments about Moore. Any Michael
Moore hater should bookmark this site right
away.
Clocking
in at No. 3 on the list is a Web site dedicated
to one of the most versatile rappers/comics/geniuses
that has ever lived, Snoop Dogg. This Web
site, www.asksnoop.com, allows the user
to type in the address of any Web site on
the net, and through the magic of "Tha Shizzolator,"
it will translate all the text on the site
of your choice to Snoop’s own hilarious
lexicon. Some favorite "shizzolated" sites
of mine include www.cnn.com and www.whitehouse.gov.
Missing
first place by a narrow margin is www.hotornot.com,
which allows viewers to see random pictures
of girls or guys and rate them on a scale
of one to ten, one being "not" and ten being
"hot." For the bitter among us (myself included)
answer this question: what could be better
than giving a hot girl or a hot guy a low
score, as a sort of juvenile revenge for
their never dating you in high school? What
better way to take out your frustration
over the fickleness of the opposite sex?
Go ahead, my disciples, unleash your rage.
Finally
we come to the peak of our top-five list
journey, the quintessential Web site that
is, in my mind, No. 1. This Web site I have
mentioned before in previous articles, and
I have had many a laugh while logged onto
it. It features more celebrity mug shots
than you can shake a stick at, not to mention
all the eyebrow-raising articles it features,
as it "paves the paper trail." Some of you
probably already know what site this is,
but for those whom do not, I present to
you www.thesmokinggun.com,
the No. 1 Web site on my list. Visit it,
bookmark it, come back often for more, you
will thank me later (by the way, I do accept
checks and cash for this knowledge I have
bestowed upon you.)
So
there it is, my comprehensive (albeit sophomoric)
list of Web sites that I love to visit.
Whether it is for a daily dose of absurdity,
a laugh, or a gasp, I think you will agree
that these Web sites are the crème-de-la-crème
of the wackiness that is available only
on the Internet. Until next time, happy
surfing!
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