Many people consider the birth of U.S. feminism to be the women’s suffrage movement, or the entrance of many women from the home to the workplace during World War II. People have argued that until the birth control pill was widely available, the ever-present prospect of maternity made it difficult for women to compete with men in the workplace.
 
Aside from feminist scholars and activists, most people assume that feminist goals have been largely realized in the United States. While there have been many changes in the workplace, laws and gender relations, gender equality has not yet been realized.
 
Feminist has the popular connotation of a shrill, angry woman who views every aspect of popular culture through the lens of gender, considers all men oppressors and potential rapists and loathes any aspect of her femaleness that she cannot attribute to enculturation.
 
Many educated, contemporary women refuse to identify themselves as feminists. While they may consider themselves modern, self-sufficient, equal to male peers and support gender equality, they shudder to call themselves feminists.
 
Many contemporary women see feminism as conflicting lipstick, enjoying more traditional relationships with men and taking a more balanced approach toward gender, considering men and women different, if still equal.
 
The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines feminism as both “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes” and “organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests.”
 
Unfortunately, much of contemporary feminism ignores the first definition, focusing instead on pursuing women’s political, economic and social rights and interests, ignoring how sexism may negatively impact men.
 
Many of the young women who benefit from feminism, but do not identify as feminists, alternately lay claim to rights procured for them by feminism or rights traditionally allowed to them by sexist values, according to whichever provides the greatest benefit — the “fair weather feminists.”
 
A trivial example would be a woman who smiles to encourage the chivalry of her male colleague who carries a heavy package for her into the office, then expects to be paid the same amount as he does because they are equal. After work, she is taken to dinner by her fiancé, who pays for the entire meal because it is so romantic. Later, when her fiancé is her husband and he expects her to handle all the housework, she calls him a sexist Neanderthal.
 
Men were trained to hold doors open for women because women were the weaker sex. Men traditionally paid for dates because they had better job opportunities and their salaries were consistently higher. After they were married, a man was expected to support his wife, who would be dependent on him.
 
The fair weather feminist enjoys the benefits of feminism and considers them fair. But, she also exploits sexism and calls it romantic, considering herself neither feminist nor sexist.
 
Many fair weather feminists describe themselves as a “modern woman with a romantic side that still likes to feel feminine,” but they are opportunistic hypocrites. Rather than blending aspects of two belief systems, they skim the benefits from both and incur the costs of neither, being either an equal or a lady as it suits them.
 
Feminists never concerned themselves with the negative impact of sexism upon men. In the 1960s, while bras blazed and women demanded paid maternity leave, recognition of their sexual needs and equals rights, they did not insist that women should also be drafted into military service. They never demanded to die in Vietnam.
 
It is not the sole responsibility of women to implement equality in everyone’s lives. Rather, both men and women should attempt to have relationships that are consistent and fair. A woman who expects a man to spend more on her than she spends on him should not resent his expectation that she will do more housework — either they have a traditional relationship, or they do not.
 
A woman who resents a man on a crowded bus who does not offer her his seat should not feel resentment when male colleagues are taken more seriously in meetings. A woman should not expect men to leave toilet seats down to accommodate her unless she thinks she needs a man to make all important decisions for her. Women who don’t go dutch on dates, stand on crowded buses, lower their own toilet seats and open their own doors don’t deserve equality. Men cannot be blamed for failing to believe the sexes are equal when feminism continues to be lady’s choice.
 
Many men are guilty of exploiting feminism to indulge their selfishness. Many men have wives or girlfriends who do all the cooking and housework, but work full-time. Some men use feminism as a rationale for abandoning women that they have gotten pregnant, since “women do not need men anymore to raise a child.” Men and women are both guilty of exploiting advantages that feminism seems to allow them.
 
The difference lies in when blame is placed. Men whose wives also work full-time are widely considered jerks if they do not do their share of the housework. Men who expect the women in their office to wash all the coffee cups in the office kitchenette are called sexist pigs. Men who leer at women on the street are Neanderthals. Women who work full-time and want their boyfriend to pay for all their dates and buy them flowers and other gifts aren’t widely considered jerks, they are considered romantic. Women who expect equal pay for doing the same job but expect men to move heavy office furniture for them are not called sexist pigs, they called are old-fashioned. Women who dress in a sexually provocative manner in order to manipulate men aren’t Neanderthals, they are Erin Brockovich.
 
In order for women to be equals, they have to give up fair weather feminism. A woman ca not expect to experience the benefits of equality or sexism as ladie’s choice. Men can not be expected to muster the strength to overturn established sexual roles or respect women as equals if women claim a continuing right to be old-fashioned, sentimental and romantic. In order for sexual equality to be real, women need to do more than just fight traditional limitations placed upon them — they need to give up traditional female privileges.
 
David Alexander is a student at Cal State Long Beach.

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