This
semester's real issues revealed
Nick
Genisauski
After
getting the first-week jitters out of my
system, I decided to reflect on the real,
hard-hitting issues on this semester's agenda.
Was it the heated gubernatorial race? Was
it the states budget crisis? No way! Hands
down, the most substantial matter this fall
has to be the influx of Britney Spears and
Ashton Kutcher look-alikes. For women, the
conventional appearance, characterized by
Spears, consists of shocking blond hair,
low-rider jeans and a miniature, revealing
top. For the gentlemen there seems to be
a digression -- dingy T-shirt, casual jeans
and that skater adopted fishnet cap. However,
it's come to the point where we no longer
look at you Spears's and Kutchers as individuals
-- I dread to say it, but conformity is
now the norm.
I'm
not saying that this is a completely hopeless
situation. For instance, Long Beach State
comes standard with Britney Spears of all
shapes and sizes. For the chiseled hot dude,
there is the cookie cutter Britney: slender,
hard body, nice rack, etc. For the average,
"drinks more beer than water"
guy, there is a matching Britney for him
as well: small gut sneaking its way out
from underneath the tube top, but certainly
nothing to complain about -- just to be
aware of. Lastly, there is the Britney who
might be more concerned with stuffing her
face with cookies, rather than polishing
that cookie cutter image she is trying to
portray.
Treading
water in a sea of Spears isn't the worst
thing, but guys, why are we killing a trend
that should have been dead a long time ago--the
fishnet cap. Back by popular demand is one
of the most loathed, embarrassing and poorly
made products of my little-league saturated
childhood. This fad is no longer a throwback
to when times were good, when the "Bad
News Bears" ruled the silver screen
or when dad punched out an opposing teams
parent during a little league game. Guys,
if you haven't realized it by now, this
fad has become an epidemic. Throw out those
fitted $50 caps. Venture into your attic,
dust off that wood chest that reads "junior's
boyhood crap." Pull out that mesh cap
with the generic team logo emblazoned on
the front, slap it on your head, and ignore
the white calcium deposits around the rim
(bandanas are for wussies) -- that's what
makes it an original! Here's a thought:
instead of conforming to fashion, why don't
we revolutionize it by bringing back something
from our radical past -- the three cornered
hat.
I
had no idea that this year's prerequisite
for attending State was to meticulously
watch and become the VMAs. But regardless
of all this nonsense and harping on the
subject, one thing is for sure -- this is
a part of the culture we embrace. Looking
cool has been a staple of our American tradition,
as well as CSULB's for years. Important
issues tend to take a back seat to what
pleases the eye. It's not that we don't
care whether or not Arnold gives "California
back to Californians," or if Gray Davis
would like to reimburse me for all the handouts
I have to copy at Kinkos -- students just
want to look good! We know the hefty dude
sporting all the latest skateboard apparel
doesn't skate -- he'd crack the board in
two! But leave them alone: the assorted
shapes of Britney, the dirt-bike phonies.
Unwrap it and it's all eye candy: a massive
spending budget, a buff governor. Enjoy
the sweet, delectable shell, but remember
that substance is found within. On a final
note, ladies, keep your eyes on the road
to success and headlights to yourselves.
And gentlemen, mesh caps do not hold water
and neither do trends. On second thought,
winter's just around the corner, so while
it's hot, girls, have at it and flash those
halogens!
Nick
Genisavski is a senior english major at
Cal State Long Beach.
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