Celebrities
mouthing off
Gerry
Wachovsky
One
reason I love politics so much is because
it gives me a chance to hear the opinions
of others, no matter how crazy they might
be. What I live for, though, is when celebrities
present their hare-brained opinions on politics
and other social matters in attempts to
sound savvy and informed. What is even better
is when these celebrities make their comments
at events that are broadcast before thousands
of people, setting themselves up for ridicule
and mockery for months, sometime even years,
to come. That said, sit back and relax while
we take a look back at some of the stupidest
things celebrities have said this past year.
Let
us begin our walk down memory lane in January,
a time when the war in Iraq was just getting
underway and people were starting to formulate
opinions about whether or not the United
States should have even gone there in the
first place. There were several loudmouth
celebrities during this time but one particular
person took the cake when it came to brainless
political commentary -- Sheryl Crow.
Before
thousands of viewers watching the American
Music Awards, Crow said, "I think war
is based in greed and there are huge karmic
retributions that will follow. I think war
is never the answer to solving any problems.
The best way to solve problems is to not
have enemies."
Here
is a suggestion for Crow: instead of preaching
to Americans about this "karmic retributions"
nonsense, how about cracking open a book
and educating yourself a little? War is
"never the answer to solving any problems,"
huh? Using this same logic (or lack thereof),
should the United States have just let Hitler
try to take over Europe? Should Clinton
have just disregarded the whole Serbian
conflict and let it "blow over"?
Should Bush have just ignored Sept. 11 and
the thousands of victims who died in the
World Trade Center? Perhaps we should just
give al-Qaida copies of "C'mon, C'mon,"
Crow's 2002 album, and discuss our differences
while listening to such tracks as "Soak
Up The Sun" and "Steve McQueen?"
It is clear that Crow is living in her own
world, especially when she says something
as asinine as, "The best way to solve
problems is to not have enemies." Have
any other original ideas, Sheryl?
While
Sheryl Crow was keeping herself busy strategizing
more peace plans, Madonna was at work speaking
out against the United States. On May 8,
Madonna played a private concert for a French
radio station, where she not only thanked
France for opposing the Iraq war, but also
incredulously said, "Here in France
I feel at home." If she feels so much
at home in France, why not move there completely?
It might be a smart idea to move to Europe,
really, since most of her current fans reside
in that portion of the world. I mean, how
many people still actually listen to her
music? Here in the United States, people
could care less about Madonna, who hit the
wall and stopped making good music ten years
ago (the same could be said about Michael
Jackson, by the way). Madonna, I encourage
you to do both Americans and yourself a
favor and move to France, where you will
not only "feel at home," but you
will also be among all your fans! Don't
think we're kicking you out of the country
though, as you are still welcome back for
vacations, as well as to visit Britney Spears
for the occasional lesbian romp.
Hugh
Grant demonstrated this on Nov. 18 in Britain,
while promoting his new film, "Love
Actually." According to an Agence France-Presse
report, when asked what love is, Grant replied,
"[Love is] loving someone no matter
what their faults in a blind and unconditional
way, such as the love Tony Blair has for
George Bush." Despite Grant's comment
being grammatically incorrect, not to mention
the fact that he defined "love"
by simply adding an "-ing" suffix
to the root word, he still took the time
to include an anti-Bush analogy. My question
is this: since when did Hugh Grant become
an expert on love? Let's not forget June
1995, when Hugh Grant pleaded guilty to
a "misdemeanor lewd conduct charge"
after "Hollywood police caught him
in the act with hooker Divine Brown,"
according to the www.thesmokinggun.com.
I suppose getting fellatio from a hooker
in a BMW makes one a love expert, not to
mention a source for political observation.
What
thoughtless celebrity comments will be uttered
in years to come? Only time will tell, I
suppose, but I am looking forward to hearing
all of them.
Gerry
Wachovsky is a journalism major at Cal State
Long Beach and can be reached at SenorBucho@aol.com.
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