Expressing
emotion an important act
Danielle
Sawyer
Rythms for Womyn
I
feel like crying. I have wanted to cry since
late last night after receiving a disturbing
and very sad phone call. Oh, I am so emotional.
It must be "that" time of the
month again. But no, I just finished my
menstrual cycle -- can I say the word menstrual
or is that too dirty for people -- last
weekend. Maybe it is because I am a "woman"
and most women by "nature" are
so emotional. Bullcrap.
We
have been discussing in one of my theory
classes why the action of crying has received
such a backlash by society as something
that is considered "weak" or "typical
female behavior." Human beings are
supposed to cry it's called an expression
of sadness. Many people believe it is a
sign of strength if one can hold back their
tears and remain strong emotionally. What
is the payoff for this type of behavior,
shortened life span, emotional stress, subhuman
existence, and maybe even physical sickness?
Yet we still glorify the "strong"
man -- or even sometimes a woman -- and
punish or look down upon the healthier woman
-- or sometimes a rare man -- who expresses
their sadness through their ability to cry.
Now I say ability because crying is exactly
that, an ability our society either allows
you to do or doesn't, depending on your
environment. I am a volunteer for a rape
crisis hotline and I am a full time teacher
at a high school. What I have come to realize
is that there are more and more "unhealthy"
people out there who have been taught by
society that crying is a sign of "weakness."
There are emotionally damaged students and
survivors of rape that have conditioned
themselves to ignore or suffocate their
tears all for the sake of social construction
and the survival rate in this "destructive"
construction of society.
Tears
are a sign of courage, a step towards healing,
a release of stress, and a conscious decision
to "feel." Instead of separating
gender by words such as "weak"
or "strong," maybe we can start
appreciating and supporting each gender
for what they have to offer to society.
If we continue to place emphasis of "success"
with a dollar amount or a toy count we will,
as a society, continue to reproduce robotic
humans who will make the early decision
in life to detach from their "human"
qualities in order to survive. It is not
a "feminine" quality to express
emotions yet society has decided to label
the female population as "emotional"
in order to allow a woman to appear "weaker"
than a man. Heidi Hartmann, a feminist theorist
states that "men's position in patriarchy
and capitalism prevents them from recognizing
both human needs for nurturance, sharing,
and growth" and until there is a recognition
of these needs as being "strong"
and universal, society will remain unhealthy,
non-feeling molds living a life built around
shame because we can not shed a tear.
Danielle
Sawyer is a women's studies major at Cal
State Long Beach.
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