Women
cheaters should have remorse
Safiya
Elkhaldy
At
8:30 a.m. it takes a lot to get most of
our attention. Just thinking about how to
raise my heavy head off my feather pillows
and make it through the cold tiles in the
bathroom and into the shower is enough to
think about.
But
recently I woke up to my alarm to hear the
shocked and vibrant voices of Kevin and
Bean talking with women who cheat on their
boyfriends and husbands.
The
topic is not what particularly moved me
to life my head, instead it was the guiltless,
laughing and insensitive women behind the
topic.
Women
from all walks of life were calling to confirm
a recent statistic presented by a female
therapist who surveyed her patients and
came to the conclusion that 90 percent of
them that had cheated showed no signs of
regret.
One
caller even said her husband deserved it
because they had not had sex in thirteen
years. Another caller said it made sex with
her boy friend better because she "got
off" on the idea that she had a little
secret. At this point I was glued to the
radio and ignoring the fact that I had to
be school in an hour.
Both
Kevin and Bean seemed to be outraged by
the women's unsympathetic attitude. They
also presented the question, "What
if these were men calling in saying they
had no regrets about their one night stand
or their mistress?" In our society
we usually think of men as the remorseless
cheaters.
But
on Sept. 4 women were not only letting their
skeletons leap from their closet, but they
were giving them an extra boost with a sense
of justification. Have women started to
assume male attributes or have we always
possessed them and are just now starting
to vocalize it?
Well
I feel like I will let one of my skeletons
escape ad join the ranks of cheating women
and admit that I have cheated. I was sixteen
and in my first relationship, then I met
my boyfriend's best friend. Yes, it was
wrong. Yes, it was deceitful. And yes, it
was fun. But at a young age I learned two
valuable lessons.
The
first lesson is that cheating made me feel
empty. I was uncomfortable with who I was
and found comfort and acceptance in another.
One boyfriend wasn't good enough. I needed
reassurance from another guy to ensure I
was special.
The
second lesson is that a sense of worthlessness
is not empowering. To be in a relationship
with one guy, and sneaking and hiding with
another is degrading. In my case, what if
your accomplice wants to keep you a secret?
The realization that you are nothing more
than a booty-call is gross. But then again,
what did I expect?
Ladies
you get what you ask for. If this is justice
and equality for you, then I feel sorry
for you. There seems to be this movement
by women to be more like men. We want to
be the one who is in control and emotionally
detached.
Cheating
or being proud of the fact that you cheated
only shows that you are insecure and feel
worthless. If you want to be in control
or display your strength, run a marathon
or get something published. There is nothing
empowering about being a guiltless cheater.
Safiya
Elkhaldy is a journalism major at Cal State
Long Beach.
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