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opinion
Shin
shouts out final goodbyes
"And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed/Just to
get it all out/What's in my head/And I'm feeling, a little
peculiar..."
And just like Four Non-Blondes, I want to scream from the
top of my lungs: "What's goin' on?"
The answer is ... everything. It's all happening! I was listening
to this song while my head was swarming and it all just clicked.
All I can do is hold on to my butt while life takes me on
this wild ride. And I don't know what to make of any of it
really. It's all so strange and intangible.
But the strangest dimension of all is that funny little thing
we call time. I thought Webster's definition was a pretty
good shot at defining the abstract concept: "Every moment
there has ever been or ever will be."
Well, my moments at Cal State Long Beach are coming to an
end and in retrospect, my time here has been, if anything,
eye opening. Though the only thing I really learned is just
how much more I have to learn. That protective/deceiving shell
I brought with me from Walnut has definitely been cracked.
And for that, I am most grateful.
Regardless of the war and other aberrations, this world is
still beautiful to me. I don't think this world, or life anyway,
will ever be what any of us think it should be but that only
gives those with a vision to change things the drive we need
to progress. Hardships are essential to strengthen comradeship
we encounter in our lives and these human connections, I feel,
are our greatest blessing. Rise up for revolution!
It's really hard to believe this is all coming to an end.
But, as all good things do, right? I guess this is the part
where I make my shout-outs. Aww ... I feel so special. Mom,
I didn't quite make valedictorian, but I did get a speech!
To the most important people in my life, my family, thank
you for your patience in getting to know me as I was getting
to know myself. It took me a while to get my act straight,
but hey, you're looking at a shiny, new alumna! To my mother,
I offer my endless gratitude. Thank you for sharing your strength
and love. To my father, thank you for always thinking of me
- I know you do.
Sorry Charlie, I beat you to the finish line! I know, I know,
you took that extra detour. And thank you for bringing that
beautiful Sky into my life. Albert, you're the little brother
that others envy. Keep doing what you do. I glad I'm the only
sister you guys have because I get to have both of you to
myself! Linda, my favorite cousin, wassup dude. And thanks
to Tyronius Maximus for finally coming home (brat!).
To my bestest friends in the whole wide world, thank you for
being a part of my continuing evolution. Ms. Eunice Kwon,
my polar opposite Piscean sister, we'll meet up again and
cause raucous in New York City! Ms. Ligaya Solomon and Ms.
Sarena Reyes, I think we're going to eat Alberto's at 3 a.m.
until we're 80 years old or until clogged arteries get the
best of us. Mr. David Ibanez, my homebase, thank you for showing
me the simple life that I long for. And Ms. Cheryl Bronilla,
what would Long Beach have been without you? What will California
be without you? You're going to rock Canada girl. I love you.
Allan Franco, Ivan Hunter, Will Netramai, Michelle Cayton,
Pamela King, Kristine Pasion ... I've only got mad love to
give.
To the On-line Forty-Niner staff, what a run we had together
in the dungeon huh? And now that we're finally freed prisoners,
I wish you all the best of luck out there. I can't believe
I'm actually writing these words to you guys. Alisha, we have
to do karaoke; Alex R., I can only hope for more inspirations
in NYC (Nepal, what?!); Michael, good luck next semester Chief;
G-reg, thanks for sharing your stash; Phil, I still want to
see your James Dean and Lyndsey, bust out the vaporizer! Many
editors have graduated from the depths of the newsroom but
the odd times and random conversations we've shared in that
florescent nightmare is one that belongs to only us. I guess
we put in our share of blood, sweat and tears to earn the
only thing that's left of our time with the newspaper: the
2002 archives.
To Alex G., Wes and everyone else, good times shared that
I won't forget. Marty, what the hell are you doing in San
Diego? Thank you for all the talks, the smokes and for teaching
me how to attribute. Wait one more journalism person that's
um, kind of hard to forget. I'm still glad I met you. I hope
you learned as much as I did from the experience. Thank you
for pushing me to write, always. It was much needed and appreciated.
On to a more delightful experience - steel drum! Thank you
to the entire pan band, Dave and Dr. Carney for helping me
find music in my life again. I'll be hollering "Beat
Pan!" when I'm jamming in Trinidad! To Michelle (rockin'
in Germany), Bianca, crazy-ass Ian and Jeremiah especially
(I know you'll be maintaining that ice cream cone, but don't
forget our promise), thanks for some of my fondest memories
of "Pan in Long Beach" (and Fresno). Basses rule!
Yecenia, you sexy-Mexi you, thanks for being the best roommate
ever, just when I started to think they were all lunatics
too, and also for a friendship that I truly cherish.
To the beautiful yet bizarre characters I worked with at Cirque
du Soleil, thank you for allowing me to be as freaky as I
wanted to be and for closing my era in Long Beach on that
surreal tip. I don't see any other way it could have happened.
Thanks for bringing me on stage Stephen. Oh yeah, and shout
outs to Déjà for the wicked eight months.
Yikes! 900 words already? To Jamie E., Jacks and the entire
production staff, Dr. Mulligan, Derek S., Cathy and everybody
else at Forty-Niner publications, thank you. To anyone who
has read my crap and ever mentioned it to me, thank you for
putting a spark in my day. To Professor Fried, thank you for
opening the channels of literary creativity. Thank you to
all the smiles from faces I've familiarized with over the
last two years here, you all know who you are. I guess I'll
just take this sentence to thank everybody for everything,
especially for allowing me to immortalize this particular
moment of time. Please don't hate me if I forgot your names.
After all, it's only a college paper, right?
Last, but not least, I'd like to thank the heavenly entities
that watch over us. I thank the sun, the moon, the stars,
the universe, Mother Earth and all the angels who have helped
me through dark times. Thank you Peter, for showing me such
purity.
And so, the time to depart is now (before I lose any more
readers). Who knows where any of us will be? Riding an elephant
in Nepal or a tuk-tuk in Thailand (Joe, Jason, Mikey, Angela
and Reeza - are you ready yet?), I only have one thing on
my mind: adventures in travel and in life. Black Rock City,
Trinidad, Alaska, wherever ... WORLD, ready or not, here I
come. I'm finally free!
I'll close with the lyrics of Four Non Blondes to again express
what I can't.
"[23] years and my life is still trying to get up that
great big hill of hope ... for a destination."
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Christine Shin
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