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opinion
Juggling
marriage, motherhood, school a difficult, rewarding job
I remember walking around campus with my belly the size of
a watermelon, wondering how I was going to handle being a
wife, mother and student. I had no idea what I was in for.
Today, I sit here
in the dark at 1:00 in the morning, fighting to keep my eyes
open in order to finish my countless assignments. My daughter,
who is now 8-months old, sleeps peacefully after a full day
of dirty diapers, bottles, games and stroller rides. My husband
is catching up on his favorite past time, sports, and I am
sitting here struggling to figure out where to start.
This is how my
days usually play out. Getting up in the morning is no easy
task after a restless day and late-night homework session,
but the alarm is ringing and Isabella is poking her head through
her crib signaling that it is time for me to get going. A
fresh diaper and a bottle later, I hop in the shower and quickly
get dressed. I make my way to the kitchen, grab a granola
bar, kiss Isabella good-bye and I am off to school. It is
so hard leaving her; my heart breaks each time I close the
door behind me.
After a couple
of classes, I am back home and back to my other life as a
mother and wife. I play with my daughter and feed her. When
she falls asleep, I try to get some homework done or housework
out of the way. I have to remind myself that I have not eaten
lunch yet. Actually, my stomach does that for me.
Not long after
that, Isabella is up and is like an Energizer Bunny, ready
for action. Soon after, my husband gets home after an equally
tiring day. No hanky-panky tonight, that's for sure. There
is no energy left to even think about it.
No one ever gave
me instructions on how to manage all of this and do it with
ease and grace. I guess no one really knows. I wish I did.
I could write a book and become a millionaire. For now, I
will just have to do it day-by-day and hope that tomorrow
I will get some more sleep.
Sometimes I do
feel unappreciated and frustrated. I do all this work and
feel as if I am not accomplishing much. But then Isabella
waves bye-bye or tries to stand up on her own and I realize
that I am doing something worth more than anything: I am raising
my daughter. And in the meantime, I am getting an education
to give her the best life I possibly can.
At night, when
we finally lay down to sleep, I look at Fernando and Isabella
and see their smiling faces and their enormous love for each
other and me. At that moment I feel like the luckiest woman
in the world.
Aline Ponce
is a public relations major at Cal State Long Beach.
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