Listening
Lounge Holiday Style
By Ryan Ritchie
On-line Forty-Niner
No
worse genre of music exists than that of
the Christmas variety, but if people are
forced to listen to holiday cheer, they
should at least hear the best of the worst.
Elvis Presley — Which Elvis
Christmas record, you ask? It doesn’t matter.
There are numerous albums and they probably
all sound the same. It’s Christmas music,
but it’s also Elvis, so this is a no-lose
situation as far as seasonal music goes.
The Beach Boys — They did
a Christmas album back when Brian Wilson
wasn’t on drugs and it’s not all that bad.
They do the standards but they also do some
originals. They ain’t great, but at least
they tried.
James Brown — Outside of
Southern California these truck stops called
Travel Center exist. They have a pretty
embarrassing selection of music for truckers
to listen to while they try to stay awake.
One of those cassesettes is a James Brown
Christmas album for $3. It’s so good they
sell it all year long.
Run-DMC — Not only are
they the kings of rock, they’re also the
kings of Christmas hip-hop. “Christmas in
Hollis” is the first and probably last song
anyone will ever hear about Santa Claus
and collared greens.
The Ramones — They have
a song called “Merry Christmas, I Don’t
Wanna Fight Tonight.” It’s on an album even
die-hards don’t own, and they buried it
as the last track. It’s a stretch, but it’s
about Christmas and it’s the Ramones - it
has to make the list.
Fear — A pretty popular
punk band from the 1980s that only punkers
know. They have a song called “F*** Christmas”
and it’s nothing short of a classic.
Weezer — A few years ago
Weezer sent two Christmas songs to their
fan club members. One is sad and slow, the
other upbeat and happy and it’s the perfect
mix for the holidays. This is probably impossible
to find but those file-sharing Internet
programs probably have them.
N*SYNC — Just kidding.
Sources
Elvis Presley - Christmas Album
James Brown - Plays Christmas Songs, A Soulful
Christmas, The Merry Christmas Album
Beach Boys - Christmas Album, Christmas
Special
Run DMC - A Very Special Christmas
The Ramones - Brain Drain
N*SYNC - Home for Christmas
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