At least be funny!

Reading the Union, the campus would not know that the Forty-Niner outplayed those squares to the point where they had to leave the field with heads bowed in shame. Perhaps they failed to realize what game we were playing. The point of sloshball is, after all, to get completely intoxicated and only then venture up to bat, or take the field to try and play a competent game of softball.

The Union failed miserably in this endeavor. Despite repeated callings for the Union staff to come over to the Forty-Niner dugout for a drink from the community keg, or the community Bacardi and Coke, none but their amiable Del Rio came over for a drink or 10.

Yeah, we lost the softball game 19-6 (there is some dispute over these statistics, since the Union counts runs like Florida counts votes), but we won the sloshball game.

The Union was out of character at Friday's sloshball by staying sober, but their coverage of the game, like nearly everything they have written this year, was characteristically unfunny.

The Union dropped all pretense of news coverage this semester and opted for parodies throughout the rag, including its front page. The only problem with that strategy was they failed to be humorous.

Their coverage of the sloshball game, unlike last year, was dry and self-serving. I had looked forward to their coverage. I was told they were going to slam us. But nothing doing, it was a waste of two minutes of my time.

Another semester has ended for the Union. The merry pranksters will be back and fill their racks with passed-over papers left to rot for the entire week before the next forgettable issue.

My roommate, a former Union editor in chief, often reminds me of the days when the Union was funny. Ah, if only they had an editor like the one who forged a signed letter by a Forty-Niner editor in chief disparaging the daily's publisher.

It is sad really. I'll bet the Union has not faced a lawsuit all semester. Their trite humor has lost its power shock. And its will to live (read -- get drunk).

Jason Kosareff is a print journalism major at Cal State Long Beach.