LISTEN TO ME: Chan, the critic, gives his slant on new releases from Limp Bizkit, Everlast and others

Chan Tran

Limp Bizkit: "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water" (Interscope)

The title of this album earns my award for being worst of all time with Britney Spears' "Oops Ö I did it again" about an eyelash behind.

In fact, the thought of drinking hot dog flavored water is better than hearing Limp Bizkit Frontman Fred Durst's drivel.

Durst has done one redeeming thing in the last year. He has not released a Limp Bizkit album.

Apparently headlining both the Family Values and a Napster-sponsored tour was not enough exposure for a band. Disgustingly, they also sold six million albums the last time around.

Since rock-rap bands are still popular among the masses, Limp Bizkit will surely sell just as many with "Chocolate," if not more, a fact that repulses me more than Eminem trying to sound black. The band might also tour with him later this year. Perhaps this is the white-boy version of Wu Tang Clan.

The band has released two singles at the same time, "Rollin" and "My Generation" from "Chocolate." Any band that has the gall to name a song after the classic Who song deserves a seat next to Mariah Carey at the next Grammy Awards. Why don't just go ahead and name the album "Abbey Road"?

"My Generation" features Durst and the band executing the same formula that made "Significant Other" such a monster hit. But regardless of what the band members have said about changes to the sound, "Chocolate" is likely to be a carbon copy of its predecessor.

And so after careful contemplating, I have changed my prior thought of the band. Pure drivel is a more fitting title for the band's music, especially the title of this album.
 

Everlast: "Eat at Whitey's" (Tommy Boy)

What is up with him taking on an alter ego?

He could change his name to Whitey Ford, named the album "Eat At Everlast's" and still few people would care. His last album "Whitey Ford Sings The Blues," tried to erase memories of being a rejected Irish rapper. For all intents and purposes, he is a contemporary version of Bob Dylan without the chipmunk-nasal voice.

Whitey Ford aka Everlast was last seen as one of the castaways on Santana's Survivor-size album "Supernatural." Basically, he sold his soul to Mexican rock and roll and in the process he perplexingly won a Grammy. Santana, not one to shy away from repeating a formula, returns the favor for "Eats" by flexing his guitar chops on "Babylon Feeling."

The same producers that helped make "Whitey Ford" a success, Dante Ross and John Gamble, are back with 13 songs for "Eat." They tackle genres such as folk, blues, classical and rap.

Personally, I pass on this musical morsel.
 

Johnny Cash: "American III: Solitary Man" (American)

The man in black has reappeared for his third project with producer Rick Rubin. Music listeners should start locking their doors.

Cash's spine-shaking baritone has evoked many sleepless nights for those who like sugary country and folk music. The same effect could be expected for "Solitary Man," but guest performers Sheryl Crow, Tom Petty and June Cash may alleviate it.

Let us hope he quits while he is ahead with this trilogy.

Cash should not make the same mistake that George Lucas made with "Star Wars."
 

Billy Ray Cyrus: "Southern Rain" (Monument)

America, especially country music fans, killed Cyrus's "Achy Break Heart" years ago.

Too bad they did not finish the job.

"We the People" from "Southern" is written specifically for the George "Dubya" Bush presidential campaign.

Could this election year get any worse?