Online Forty Niner: v8n12: Listen to me: Chan, the critic, gives his slant on this week's new releases

Madonna. The name rings out like a spicy enchilada on a cold winter day. But what does that really mean? Not much, but it's more interesting than her album.

Madonna revamped her music career in 1998 with "Ray of Light," surprising the public with songs that brought a human element to the electronic music genre. With the help of producer and musical genius William Orbit, she found her calling as a lightweight Bjork --mellow, but still edgy. Since the release of "Ray of Light," she has fumbled in Hollywood movies by making a heavy mockery of her so-called acting talent. So now the question is whether or not "Music" is worth the wait.

Unfortunately, even for those who want to believe in her music talents, she appears to be a Christine under the wing of the Phantom -- capable of singing but without her many producers, she is nothing.

Since "Ray of Light," people have questioned how much co-producing she did with Orbit. The production on that album sounds like an Orbit solo project with Madonna's voice on top. The feeling is the same for "Music."

Even Madonna's brother-in-law, Joe Henry, co-wrote "Don't Tell Me." Can't she do any music on her own?

Orbit returns to mastermind the project, but he brought his protégé Mirwais, a French dance artist, to handle the majority of the production. Mirwais ads his special touch to the dance numbers "Impressive Instant," "Runaway Lover" and the first single "Music," by incorporating syncopated beats and mid-80s synthesizer sounds. There are also tender ballads such as the emotionally driven "I Deserve It" and "Nobody's Perfect." But in the end, the music is boring and never reflects Madonna's personality like her 80s material. The songs sound safe. And stale.

Perhaps one day she will approach her music career like her acting, alone and unafraid to stumble.

Barbra Streisand: Timeless: Live in Concert (Columbia)

How many final concerts will Babs inflict upon her rich and gullible fans?

Not only do they get to spend ridiculous amounts for a single ticket (up to $2,500), but she expects them to shell out $23.99 to bring the live experience home with them.

Her vanity never ceases to repulse me.

"Timeless" is a two-disc set of live recordings of 33 tracks culminated from her once-exciting concert performances, which are now nothing more than a light-pop Mariah Carey.

The only worthwhile features of the album are guests Louis Armstrong and Judy Garland.
"I've Got You Under My Skin," is a duet á la Natalie Cole's "Unforgettable," with the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra.

She probably believes she can carry his torch. Give me a break.

Fastball: The Harsh Light of Day (Hollywood)

Fastball is the kind of band you would like to stick in front of a stereo with a Matchbox 20 CD playing. For all intents and purposes, they are the same band.

After draining our ears with their single "The Way," from the debut album "All the Pain Money Can Buy" they're back from Austin, Texas to give us an edgier, 70s rock style. The first single "You're an Ocean" has some cleaver lyrics, but they still sound just as unimportant as before.

The coolest thing about this album is that Billy Preston makes an appearance. Someone get him a new agent.

Björk: Selmasongs (Music From the Motion Picture Dancer in the Dark) (Elektra)

Bjork's name reminds me of a Star Trek character. Her music isn't too far from being just as strange.

This EP features music from the movie "Dancer in the Dark" by Lars Von Trier's, in which Bjork was the lead actress.
Didn't Madonna attempt the same thing?

"I've Seen It All" features Thom Yorke of Radiohead. The title is very fitting.

Chan Tran is a print journalism major at Cal State Long Beach.