Body parts worth bucks

Starving students starve no longer. If you have 18 units, an empty stoma ch and neither time nor patience for a part-time job, we suggest you consider putting your bodily fluids on the market.

If you are 18 or over, Miles Inc. Plasma Center between Magnolia and Chestnut on Anaheim in Long Beach will buy your blood.

It might sound sick, it may sound mercenary, but hey, it's cash. Forget the old line the Red Cross used to spiel, you don't have to wait months on end before you can give again, Miles Inc. will tap your veins twice a week.

Plasma and blood are two different things. What happens is they siphon out your blood, centrifuge out the plasma and pump back in the red blood cells. Your body will replace the lost plasma within 24 hours.

They require a California ID, proof that you're 18 or over, proof of address and you have to sit through a video first. For 45 minutes to an hours worth of "work" they're willing to pay $15 for the first visit, $18 for the second and $20 for the third. After the third visit they'll only cough up $15.

Slightly h igher on the money-for-practically-nothing list is SPERM. Shocked you, didn't we?

The Fertility Center of California on the corner of 17th and Lincoln in Santa Ana pays $35 a pop for usable sperm samples.

They prefer donors either have a college degree or be pursuing one and they test for all sexually transmitted diseases. The best part is they like people to donate for one year - one or two times a week.

Sperm, obviously, is a male-only business transaction, but there is a female equiva lent of this type job. The Saddleback Center for Reproductive Health on the corner of 17th and Lincoln in Santa Ana is willing to pay $1,800 for viable eggs. Yucko, again.

There's an age limit for this one, too. You must be between the ages of 21 and 34. It's a "complicated procedure" and a three-week commitment involving physicals, medical history checks, blood analysis, laboratory tests, ultrasound and medication.

The actual procedure takes 30 to 45 minutes and local anesthesia is adminis tered. They recommend having a friend drive you home afterward.