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opinion
Drink like Bacchus,
don't drive like him
Ah, spring break is upon us. The week in which we get a respite
from the arduous chores of academic life.
The week to fly to some exotic locale and spend mommy and
daddy's money on things that would have been illegal back
home.
The week when women regret getting that heart or butterfly
tattoo on their breast, rendering them instantly recognizable
on next year's "Girls Gone Wild" DVD.
The week in which companies producing birth control products
really test the reliability rates. (You didn't think they
tested condoms on lab rats, did you?)
The week to wake up hungover in some strange bed wearing some
strange clothes next to someone who makes your previous definitions
of strange seem insufficient.
Who am I kidding? We go to a state school.
If we could afford to jet down to San Felipe for a week of
sand, sun and sex, we'd be at Pepperdine, wouldn't we?
Most will have to make do by going to the same old hangouts,
but getting just a little drunker, and then finding some new
friend's bathtub to throw up in.
For those of us who are poor, old or possess morals (or all
three) spring break is just a chance to catch up on sleep,
school or work. Ooh, I can't wait.
What exactly is it about spring that requires us to take a
break? In late October, right after fall midterms, the thought
occurs that a break would probably come in handy.
Spring break probably dates back to some ancient Dionysian
festival of renewal, just as summer vacation was originally
intended for us to help ma and pa harvest that year's corn
crop.
But we're not going to pass up a chance at a mid-week drinking
binge, are we?
Actually, this spring break looks like a good chance to try
to beat the system and get ahead on the remaining schoolwork
for the semester.
We know what's due and when, just put off the visit from Jack
D, the Captain and Johnnie Walker for a few hours and pound
out some extra essays (he says, knowing he'll be sitting amongst
a pile of empty Guinness bottles watching college basketball
all week).
If there is only one piece of advice to heed when heading
out next week, it is one that has been drummed into our heads,
but somehow hasn't penetrated everyone's skull.
Don't drink and drive.
I don't want to sound like a nag, but here's some of those
handy statistics to guilt you some more (Statistics from Mothers
Against Drunk Driving and the National Highway Traffic Safety
Administration, for 1999).
* Only 7 percent
of all crashes involve alcohol use, but nearly 38 percent
of fatal crashes do.
* Traffic crashes
are the greatest single cause of death for every age from
six through 33. About 45% of these fatalities are in alcohol-related
crashes.
* In 1999, there
were nearly 2 alcohol-related traffic deaths per hour, 43
per day and 303 per week. That is the equivalent of 2 jetliners
crashing week after week.
Those going away for spring break will likely not have to
worry about this, with most bars being within staggering distance.
For those staying at home for the break, use some sense. Draw
straws to find out which person has to drink O'Douls and virgin
margaritas. They'll make fun of you, but you'll be alive to
hear it.
If you're partying at someone's house, fall asleep on the
couch, floor, bathtub, wherever. Just don't fool yourself
into thinking you can drive home.
Just remember the unbreakable rules: pick a designated driver,
always tip the bartender, always wrap the rascal, and always
check ID's. Anyone can look 18.
Phil Witte is a journalism major at Cal State Long Beach.
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Phil
Witte
- Witticisms
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