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diversions
Things you should
have dismissed
By Ryan Ritchie
On-line Forty-Niner
Last year was pretty
lame. Good things happened sporadically but one bad event
can ruin a year.
The Lakers steamrolling through the playoffs didn't overshadow
what happened on Sept. 11, nor do day-to-day things like being
woken up at 6 a.m. every morning by a hungry cat. The world
learned an important lesson that day at the expense of thousands
of innocent lives. With all due respect to those lost lives,
here are a few things considered important before Sept. 11
that now seem trivial and comical.
"Weezer" (The Green Album) -- Anyone who
heard their previous album wishes they missed this one. Look
up "disappointment" in the dictionary and you'll
see a picture of this record. Weezer went from a band that
wrote catchy pop songs on their first album to a band that
took a daring leap into something different. Their second
album, "Pinkerton," was original, fresh and inspiring.
But apparently, creativity doesn't sell.
"Pinkerton" sold poorly compared to the first
album (but still sold more than any garage band could ever
hope to sell) and Weezer went into hiding for five years.
In 2001, the world got the second self-titled record, aka
The Green Album. Missing from this album was original bassist
Matt Sharp's beautiful falsetto, thought-provoking lyrics,
unique production and the sense that the band really meant
it. This record was so planned and contrived, it was sick.
The songs weren't horrible, but this band was capable of much
more.
Guns N' Roses live - One may argue any G n' R is better
than none, but this reunion was barely memorable. Where was
Slash? Where was Duff? Where was Izzy or Gilby or Steven or
Matt? This was Axl and a bunch of guys who weren't really
G n' R, playing G n' R songs.
Any Jack Black movie - "Saving Silverman":
strike one; "Shallow Hal": strike two; "Orange
County": strike three. This year, stick with Tenacious
D.
Reality television - Sticking a bunch of city folk
in the middle of a jungle is not reality. The idea may have
been interesting once, but it's over. Giving seven young,
attractive college kids a huge home to live in is not reality
either. If stations wanted reality-based shows, they should
film me struggling to make it to an 11 a.m. class after 11
hours of sleep or watch me dig underneath the seats of my
truck to find change to pay for a burrito at Del Taco. That's
reality.
MTV - This channel is like the ozone layer - people
hear it's evaporating, but no one will care until it's too
late. They claim the "M" stands for music, but it
could be money, or merchandise, or marketable, or maliciously
insulting the intelligence of the youth.
Any magazine done by an afternoon talk show host -
Even my mom won't read this stuff.
Fox News coverage of Sept. 11 - How many more times
could they say, "Only on Fox!"?
Limp Bizkit's new old songs - You can't polish
a turd and neither can Limp Bizkit.
If the world learned anything from 2001, this will be the
year to prove it. This time next year could be a time to rejoice
or regret. Only time will tell which it will be.
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